I got dragged out on another wild ride on the weekend. This one
started 4AM on Saturday and I very (very) reluctantly went. I tried
every excuse I could come up with, both legitimate and otherwise, to not
go but they wore me down and ultimately I gave in. I am well outside my
comfort level, being driven on unfamiliar roads in the dark to unknown
places when I am pretty sure that I would be perfectly happy going to
bed and sleeping for 8 or 10 hours. I had already been up since 10AM
Friday, went into Koper Khairaine by rickshaw (another thing I had been
avoiding) to do some shopping, worked for 10 hours then a couple more
hours driving to arrive in a part of India known as Lonalva. Once there,
I realize that only a fool would have said no. Stunningly beautiful
vistas in a unique setting that I will never see again. I thank my host
profusely and apologize for giving him a difficult time in getting me
here. Sometimes I wonder why he tries so hard with me.
I realize
that this entire adventure is outside of my comfort zone. Going to India
was never on my To Do list and knowing that my company likes to do
skills transfers from west to east, I had always said that if offered, I
would turn it down. When they asked me to go for three months, however I
gave an immediate, if tentative, Yes. "Yes, barring my wife's
approval", except that I was counting on her saying no. So when my wife
whole-heartedly said "Go!", I was shocked and dismayed. She had taken
away my perfect excuse to stay in my comfort zone. "Sorry, I would love
to go but the wife says No and I can't go against her wishes." So I was
set on a path but then the company said six months instead of three and I
could have backed out but I didn't. There was a problem with the Visa,
my garage burned down, different points at which I could have passed on
the whole idea but I didn't.I probably seem like a milque-toast, allowing people or events to lead me around, seeming to have no will of my own but the truth is, I wanted to go to India just like once here I wanted to go to the Gateway of India and I wanted to go to Lonavla. I want to be included but because it is outside my comfort zone I am often times at odds with myself. In the final balance, trekking all the way to India may seem an extreme way to push myself out of my comfort zone but I realized that, in my life, I had let too many chances pass me by and then regretted lost opportunities. I decided that it is better to go and maybe regret going, then regret not going at all.
I haven't been in my comfort zone for a while now but I persevere and soon my comfort zone will be a much larger place in which I can live.
Could you repeat that into the microphone?
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ReplyDeletere: " I decided that it is better to go and maybe regret going, then regret not going at all." I live by that; a friend said it years ago when I worked at AC. He said, "I'd rather try something - I can't always quit if I don't like it - then do nothing and never know." And this guy has done so much. It's probably somewhat obvious to those who know me, but I practice that often. I have no problem with dropping everything and going across the country, or the globe. I have my own saying: "Going backwards is easy." You can always go back to the old career (or an equivalent one), you can go back to somewhere you lived before. Backwards is so easy that there's no risk in going forwards. So try something new, and know you can always go back if it doesn't work out. No regrets here. Your brother.
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