Just Nod If You Can Hear Me

Verbal and non-verbal cues differ here in India from accepted norms in NA. I am usually more interested in what a person is not saying than what s/he is saying since that is often where the truth lies. Having an extensive background in Sales and a general interest in what motivates people, I have always paid attention to sub-text. Are the person's non-verbal cues consistent with what they are saying? What is underlying the current situation? How strong are this person's convictions with respect to what they are saying? Do they understand the words they are using? Most people do this to a greater or lesser extent but for me it is an avocation.

Here in India, shaking hands is very popular, they will shake hand every day and sometimes multiple times a day as they cross paths with you. The travelogues say not to shake hands with woman which is not true. Most working women shake hands. I would not walk up to a woman on a street and offer to shake but in a work environment, feel free to offer a shake. Many of the other hand touching (high/low fives, finger clasp, the 'bro' clasp) are not used but they know them.  I, personally, have introduced the fist touch just to cut down on the handshaking and most people are doing that with me now.

The travelogues suggest the use of Namaste and once again they are wrong. If greeted with Namaste, respond in kind but do not initiate with it. As I said before, people tend to stare, so if a stranger is staring at you, you might think that looking them straight in the eye should cause them to look away but this does not work here. If it is someone you to whom have an arm's length knowledge and they are staring, in NA, a nod hello should be enough but here this is not a known gesture so they just keep staring.

Indians are exceedingly afraid of making a commitment because this will put them at the risk of being wrong or being thought to be wrong so they are unlikely to use the words yes or no. Nor will they shake their up and down for yes or side to side for no. So far I have been able to determine two distinct side to side head waggles. The first is "I don't really understand but I don't want you to know it" which is a fast side to side waggle with looser neck muscles so that the head moves more than 180 degrees as it goes side to side. The second is a slower, tighter side to side waggle which suggests "I don't agree with what you say but I am afraid to argue with you openly about it." If they do not move at all, they are in complete disagreement, you can actually see them freeze.

If an Indian is trying to convince you of something, the head movement is down and to the right but I have seen it down and to the left as well. I cannot say for certain if it matters whether it is right or left but it usually suggests an honest position that they need you to believe. If it is an extremely strong opinion, the shoulder will drop with the head.

'Thumbs Up' is a known gesture, as is the 'V' or peace sign but I have yet to see any of the ruder gestures such as middle finger (up yours), index and pinky (got to ..ll) or thumb an pinky ('rad'). I haven't seen 'winking' which makes sense in this society. Another thing that the travelogues have gotten wrong is waving, Indian waving looks exactly like NA waving, whether it is hello, goodbye, come here or go away.

Is it disenfranchised or unenfranchised?