The Kindness of Strangers

"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers" Well, maybe Scarlet did but I usually rely on myself. I have always, in my words 'Gone my own way'. I would not eschew advice. I am interested in suggestions, opinions and even assistance but in the end I would make my own decisions, figure out the way that I intended to proceed. Often times it was against advice because I have always enjoyed being a little contrary. I have always tried to make the unlikely possible. You will notice I did not say 'impossible possible', I am not foolish.

India has challenged my preconceived notions of my own independence. India is a very difficult, frustrating and even exhausting place to visit. Take the train station for example. The announcement board is in English but once inside the station, the interior signs are in Hindi, so you are not much further ahead. Highway signs are occasionally in English and they will say the name of the place you may want to go but without the requisite arrow to point the way. Street signs are below eye level and in Hindi anyways even when you do find them.

Rickshaw drivers are a particular bane of mine. Take an apparent or purposeful lack of English and add to that an imponderable business sense and you can begin to understand the mind of a Rickshaw driver. At a rickshaw stand, if one driver turns you down, then all drivers will turn you down. Yes, you heard that correct, they turn down business despite the fact that they can overcharge me because even when they overcharge me, I am still paying less that the cost of one bus ride in NA and immensely less than a taxi cab would charge in NA. I have been able to estimate that Rickshaw trips cost approximately 10Rp (.17Cdn) per kilometer so a short ride is about 20Rp to 30Rp (.34 to .51). When I do venture out by Rickshaw, I can usually get from the hotel to my destination but I am rarely able to get back so I cannot travel somewhere where I to not have alternative transportation options.

On a recent particularly frustrating sojourn, I was unable to find a rickshaw back to the hotel, some drivers said they didn't know where it was, some wouldn't take me at all. Yes, I will repeat that for those for whom it does not make any sense. Rather than make money by taking me to my hotel during the slowest time of the year, the rickshaw drivers choose to sit idle. After walking for about a kilometer, trying several rickshaw stands along the way, I stopped, put my packages down and stood in some shade to cool down, not just my temperature but my temper.

After standing there for a while, contemplating my situation, I was approached from the other side of the road. "Hey Chris, is everything OK?" Hundreds of people work for my employer here and they all know me by name despite my knowing only a handful of them so I assumed that this person works at my company. I explain to him that as usual, I cannot get back to my hotel. He assists me, with effort, in gaining transport back. Just language skills alone is not enough to work your way through the Rickshaw maze.

You might think, 'well. he knows you, of course he would help' and I would agree except that there is more to the story. While we walk to the rickshaw stand, he tells me the rest of the story. His mother was across the street, she is the person who saw me, she told her son, "There is a foreigner over there that has been there for a while and looks like he needs help." He replied, "That is not a foreigner, that is Chris." The humour in that aside, I guess I can rely on the kindness of strangers.

Pardon me?

These Pretzel Are Making Me Thirsty!

A whole post just on beverages? Is is truly possible? I think so. Like so many things about India to a NA, nothing is truly the same. So even the simple act of buying and drinking a beverage is not always so simple. For example, if you ask for Tea or Coffee, you will get a sweetened and milked (not cream) beverage in all establishments. Even if you ask for Black coffee/tea you will still get sugar so if you want black with no sugar, you need to say it that way. Tea is available anywhere including street vendors but not every restaurant will sell coffee.


There are few coffee bistros in the Starbucks-style including Starbucks itself, Costa Coffee, and Cafe Coffee Day, to name a few, where you can buy an espresso, a latte, or a cappuccino. If it is brewed coffee that you seek, I wish you the best of fortune. Even the restaurants which advertise brewed coffee do not actually sell 'brewed coffee'. Starbucks has Brewed Coffee listed as the number one item on the menu but no actually brewing or even automatic drip coffee machines exist in the store. If you ask for Brewed coffee you will get Cafe Americano (espresso and hot water) but you can get a French Press of your favourite (if limited) choice. There is a chain called Brew House Cafe, catchy name but they don't actually sell brewed coffee.

 Tea is served at a cost of 6rp (.10) in what I can best describe as a condiment cup like you would get if you asked for blue cheese dressing with your chicken wings. Coffee comes in various sizes depending where you are but none of them would be classified as Large. The price of coffee varies a lot so it is difficult to give a reasonable estimate. I have paid 10rp (.16) for a 4oz (instant) at the Pantry at my workplace, 55rp (.94) at McDonalds for an 8oz, 90rp (1.54) at Costa Coffee and 190rp (3.26) for a Venti at Starbucks. Almost always, no matter what size you order or what type of drink you order, the cup will not be full and if you want to upset a counterperson at McDonalds, ask them to top it up.

 Most of the major-major soft drink beverages are available but you need to ask for a Soda like our friends to the South say, not Pop. You can find Coke, Pepsi, 7-Up, Sprite, Mountain Dew and Fanta (Orange). You cannot find Cream Soda, Ginger Ale, Dr Pepper, Vernors, Fanta-Grape, Fresca or any kind of Root Beer. There are some India Only brands, Thumbs Up (similar to RC Cola), Mirinda (similar to Orange Crush), and Limca (made by Coca Cola and similar to Fresca but not sugar-free). For the calorie conscious, Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi are available in a limited way usually only in the Grocery Store. As taste goes, 7-Up, Sprite, Mountain Dew and Fanta taste the way you would expect them. However, Coke is a less carbonated version of its NA brother and Pepsi is quite different tasting though I haven't quite pinpointed the exact difference but it is heavier on a spice, possibly ginger. Prices range from the 200ml small can at 20rp (.34), to the 250ml can at 25rp (.43), next is the 600 PET at 32rp (.55), and finally the 3L PET at .75rp (1.29).
 
Juices are very popular, the number of choices and sizes suggests that it outsells Soda, but almost all juices have added sugar and it is very difficult to find a no sugar added juice. They do not have the same rules where if they have added sugar it must be called a 'drink' or a 'punch' so read your labels. To date I have only found one no sugar added juice, Tropicana 100% Orange Juice. I must admit though, my favourite is Maaza, a Mango juice drink put out by Coca Cola. It has sugar in it but it is great and I wish they would bring it to NA. There are far too many kinds and sizes to quote prices for juices but the Maaza in a 500ml PET is 40rp (.69) and a 1L of Tropicana is 99rp (1.70). When anyone asks me where has my favourite place to visit been so far in Mumbai, I surprise them by saying the Hajiali Juice Centre. They sell freshly made whipped juice drinks but vastly more important than that is this creamy custardy treat with chunks of fruit in it. It is indescribably yummy and quite possibly worth the flight to India just to try it. Time permitting, you can visit the sights while you are here.

The most popular size for bottled water is the 1L size but I have seen gallons and 5L cooler size as well. One litre of water is available anywhere for 20rp (.34). For someone like myself who needs to flavour his water to drink it, drink crystals by Tang and Nestea are available but not in sugar-free and not in singles.

 Over the course of a week, I will spend more money on drink choices than I will on food choices. I have not put a full analysis on this yet but these are the factors influencing my buying choices: 1) Drink choices are more familiar than food choices, 2) It is hot all the time, 3) Drinks are never spicy, 4) Drinks are sweet without being cloyingly sweet as many of the dessert choices are here, 5) I will drink when I am hungry to avoid having to choose something to eat, 6) I will drink when I am bored, same reason, 7) I will drink at my desk while I cannot eat there, 8) I believe that food is relatively less expensive than drinks. Here are some examples, I can buy 4 oranges for 28rp (.48) less than the price of one 600ml soda or I can buy a small dinner of Chicken Fried Rice for 40rp (.69) which is the same price as one bottle of Maaza.

 I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Could You Repeat That For The Record?

I have commented many times that Indians are afraid to be seen to be wrong. I have read that they are afraid to "lose face". I have said before that I generally have to 'poll' several people before I act since I will get several different answers from ant five people so I go with the best 3 out of 5 strategy. For example, the first time I asked someone about the food sharing as described in a previous post, this person said, "No, we don't do that, they were probably just fooling around" It took me two more weeks of observing the same thing happening again and again at all tables before I asked another person, who told me that yes, it is absolutely customary to share food. I have been given contrary information so many times by so many people that I am wanting to say "Are you sure you're from here?"

The problem is that a person like myself has a very large memory, not strictly eidetic, just large enough such that once I am told something, it is unlikely that I will forget. I always had difficulty in school with conflicting information, because once I learned something that was wrong and I found out the truth or the facts later, it was very difficult for me to forget the incorrect information. It is one reason that I do not automatically respect teachers. A noble profession, yes, but if you are going to teach, you better be sure about your facts and if you are not, learn to say "I don't know". 

It would be foolish for me to suggest that there is no face-saving in NA so this is obviously not my point. As a visitor to a land with unfamiliar geography and unreadable signs, I need the assistance of the locals to get around. If I ask a stranger, "Is this the train that goes to ...?" then I would very much prefer an "I don't know" or even a shoulder shrug to a incorrectly offered "yes". Getting on the wrong train would have much greater consequences in a foreign country.

 Because I am expected to educate people here, I need to know if I am being understood. Once I have put forward a point, I will ask the standard "Does everyone understand?" Everyone nods, some in the Indian way. If I get an Indian head waggle, I switch to direct questions. Pointing at a head waggler, I ask "Ok, tell me what I just said." A look of abject fear crosses his or her face followed by the usual stuttering, I let it hang before I ask another person who may or may not know the answer. You might think I am being mean but then I would have to ask what is a better option? Letting them fail later because I couldn't be bothered to make sure I was understood?

Sometimes conversations take on an Abbott and Costello type atmosphere. This is a recent interaction: (only the names have been changed to protect the less than innocent)
On A Friday:
Me - I need to sit in on a training class
Local - Ok, I have one starting Monday
Me - Great, how long is the training?
Local - 3 weeks
Me - ok

Early, the following Friday:*
Me - The training is done?!?!
Same Local - Yes, it is only 7 days.
Me - But it has only been 4 days!?!?
Same Local - No, they started last week.
Me - But you said i was sitting in from day 1?!?!
Same Local - No, they were with a different group last week.
Me - Ok, but you said training was 3 weeks?!?!
Same Local - no, 7 days.

( *To properly read the second conversation, assume that my tone is incredulous and the local's is matter of fact.) Could I have misunderstood the previous week? I am going to say no, the word "starting" is a well known word and the statement was 3 weeks, not 21 days. Could I have been misunderstood? Still going to go with no. I speak very directly and I ask questions the same way.


The only lesson here is to be sure of your information before you act. When you are home in a familiar environment, it is easy to back up and change directions. When in an unfamiliar territory, check, check again and then check one more time. To my Indian readers, try to say "I don't know" once in a while. It is the beginning of learning.


These pretzels are making me thirsty!

You Want Me To Go Where

I got dragged out on another wild ride on the weekend. This one started 4AM on Saturday and I very (very) reluctantly went. I tried every excuse I could come up with, both legitimate and otherwise, to not go but they wore me down and ultimately I gave in. I am well outside my comfort level, being driven on unfamiliar roads in the dark to unknown places when I am pretty sure that I would be perfectly happy going to bed and sleeping for 8 or 10 hours. I had already been up since 10AM Friday, went into Koper Khairaine by rickshaw (another thing I had been avoiding) to do some shopping, worked for 10 hours then a couple more hours driving to arrive in a part of India known as Lonalva. Once there, I realize that only a fool would have said no. Stunningly beautiful vistas in a unique setting that I will never see again. I thank my host profusely and apologize for giving him a difficult time in getting me here. Sometimes I wonder why he tries so hard with me.

I realize that this entire adventure is outside of my comfort zone. Going to India was never on my To Do list and knowing that my company likes to do skills transfers from west to east, I had always said that if offered, I would turn it down. When they asked me to go for three months, however I gave an immediate, if tentative, Yes. "Yes, barring my wife's approval", except that I was counting on her saying no. So when my wife whole-heartedly said "Go!", I was shocked and dismayed. She had taken away my perfect excuse to stay in my comfort zone. "Sorry, I would love to go but the wife says No and I can't go against her wishes." So I was set on a path but then the company said six months instead of three and I could have backed out but I didn't. There was a problem with the Visa, my garage burned down, different points at which I could have passed on the whole idea but I didn't.

I probably seem like a milque-toast, allowing people or events to lead me around, seeming to have no will of my own but the truth is, I wanted to go to India just like once here I wanted to go to the Gateway of India and I wanted to go to Lonavla. I want to be included but because it is outside my comfort zone I am often times at odds with myself. In the final balance, trekking all the way to India may seem an extreme way to push myself out of my comfort zone but I realized that, in my life, I had let too many chances pass me by and then regretted lost opportunities. I decided that it is better to go and maybe regret going, then regret not going at all.

I haven't been in my comfort zone for a while now but I persevere and soon my comfort zone will be a much larger place in which I can live.

Could you repeat that into the microphone?

Disenfranchised or Unenfranchised?

My team took me sight seeing to Mumbai at 3:00 AM. I was unable to convince them that I wouldn't be able to see anything in the dark so I went anyways. I was then chauffeured through darkened streets at 60mph, so whatever sights may have been possible were little more than a blur. Since I am their trainer, I used the opportunity as an lesson in English. For example, as we whizzed by some monument or famous building, someone would say "This is the .....", I would correct their English suggesting that the proper way to say it is "That was the ......" since by the time I turned my head, it was long gone. We waited at the Gateway of India for it to open and this is where the story actually begins.

In a previous excerpt. I had commented on the relative cleanliness of this heavily touristed part of Mumbai. Overnight, I saw the efforts of the 'cleaning crew' in making this the cleanest area in Mumbai. The crew of mostly women went around with large tote bins collecting up trash of all sorts; paper, plastic water bottles, sandals, tin cans. Once the bin was full they would walk to the edge of the stone embankment and dump the bins into the Arabian Sea!

Appalled does not properly define my reaction and when I pointed out what they were doing, I was simply told they were not doing their jobs properly. Really? While I cannot, specifically, hold Canada up as the model for waste management, I have difficulty believing that anyone truly thinks this is an acceptable practice, even the people doing it (I can only hope). The 3 R's have no place in Indian society but a quick refresher is in order. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. They are placed in this order on purpose, reduce is the first best choice, reuse is the second best option and when all else fails, recycle. Canada, for now, has it drawkcab . We are very good at recycle, less good at reuse and not good at all at reduce.

People here in India have started to read my blog and some were particularly interested in my post on pollution. They are aware there are other options than the ever popular 'throw it in the street' and they know other countries recycle so someone asked me 'what will it take for India to get in line with other nations' with regards to the growing mountain (ocean?) of refuse. My first answer is that Indians or some group of Indians require a sense of moral outrage before any real change can occur. Although simplistic, it is very true. Someone needs to stand up and say "This far and no farther!" or nothing will ever change.

Enfranchised, in general, suggests the right to participate in Society and as such act in that societies best interests. Disenfranchised is a term that suggests that a group of people were previously enfranchised but were pushed aside for political or economic reasons. Today, I am coining a new term "unenfranchised" this group does not truly participate in society nor act in its best interests. I am prepared to say that this comprises 95% of the population of India. Although the focus of today's blog is pollution, this argument can be made for most societal concerns. There is an unexplainable lack of trash cans for anyone to use but even when provided, they still go unused. Unefranchised Indians treat living in India like you would if you were living in an apartment that you don't really like. "Well, it is just a place to live until I find someplace else."

In a previous blog, I had estimated the number of people living hand to mouth at 50%, I was told I was low so I looked it up. According to the World Bank, 68.7% of Indians live on less that $2US (125rp) a day and a staggering 96.9% live on less than $5US (308rp) a day. So, without a stable middle class, with a working class who cannot do anything but work to maintain their position and with at least 70% earning a scratch existence, it is left to the super-rich and the politicians to act in Societies best interest. Since these groups generally only act in their own self interest, I do not hold out a lot of hope for India cleaning up its issues for a very long time.

You want to go where?

Just Nod If You Can Hear Me

Verbal and non-verbal cues differ here in India from accepted norms in NA. I am usually more interested in what a person is not saying than what s/he is saying since that is often where the truth lies. Having an extensive background in Sales and a general interest in what motivates people, I have always paid attention to sub-text. Are the person's non-verbal cues consistent with what they are saying? What is underlying the current situation? How strong are this person's convictions with respect to what they are saying? Do they understand the words they are using? Most people do this to a greater or lesser extent but for me it is an avocation.

Here in India, shaking hands is very popular, they will shake hand every day and sometimes multiple times a day as they cross paths with you. The travelogues say not to shake hands with woman which is not true. Most working women shake hands. I would not walk up to a woman on a street and offer to shake but in a work environment, feel free to offer a shake. Many of the other hand touching (high/low fives, finger clasp, the 'bro' clasp) are not used but they know them.  I, personally, have introduced the fist touch just to cut down on the handshaking and most people are doing that with me now.

The travelogues suggest the use of Namaste and once again they are wrong. If greeted with Namaste, respond in kind but do not initiate with it. As I said before, people tend to stare, so if a stranger is staring at you, you might think that looking them straight in the eye should cause them to look away but this does not work here. If it is someone you to whom have an arm's length knowledge and they are staring, in NA, a nod hello should be enough but here this is not a known gesture so they just keep staring.

Indians are exceedingly afraid of making a commitment because this will put them at the risk of being wrong or being thought to be wrong so they are unlikely to use the words yes or no. Nor will they shake their up and down for yes or side to side for no. So far I have been able to determine two distinct side to side head waggles. The first is "I don't really understand but I don't want you to know it" which is a fast side to side waggle with looser neck muscles so that the head moves more than 180 degrees as it goes side to side. The second is a slower, tighter side to side waggle which suggests "I don't agree with what you say but I am afraid to argue with you openly about it." If they do not move at all, they are in complete disagreement, you can actually see them freeze.

If an Indian is trying to convince you of something, the head movement is down and to the right but I have seen it down and to the left as well. I cannot say for certain if it matters whether it is right or left but it usually suggests an honest position that they need you to believe. If it is an extremely strong opinion, the shoulder will drop with the head.

'Thumbs Up' is a known gesture, as is the 'V' or peace sign but I have yet to see any of the ruder gestures such as middle finger (up yours), index and pinky (got to ..ll) or thumb an pinky ('rad'). I haven't seen 'winking' which makes sense in this society. Another thing that the travelogues have gotten wrong is waving, Indian waving looks exactly like NA waving, whether it is hello, goodbye, come here or go away.

Is it disenfranchised or unenfranchised?

Didn't Your Mother Teach You To Eat With A Fork?

The entire eating experience is different here. Eating is a shared experience or I should say, eating is a sharing experience. Any food on the table is available to anyone. I assume there is a little more to it than that. For example, I doubt if a stranger or an outsider can just take food off another person's plate but for the most part, if you are sitting at the table and there is food, you can have some. No one offers and no one asks permission, it is quite a sight to see for a possessive person like me.

I try to imagine what my reaction would be if someone reached across the table and took food off my plate even if it was my wife. I would not begrudge her the food but I would be taken aback. I would react the same even if it were my children. I would offer my food to them, they might ask me for something, especially in a restaurant where each person may be eating something different. I give food to food banks. I buy extra food for the children to take for food drives at their schools but for someone to take food off my plate? That is primal!

Here in India, my tablemates offer me food. I am interested in learning more about the food but I always must create a decision matrix on how to accept; how little can I accept and not offend in case I do not like it?; do I have a clean utensil?; how was the food prepared?; and finally how spicy is it likely to be? (If they say 'not spicy' then it is spicy, if they say 'spicy' then it is very spicy and if they say 'very spicy' then I don't even bother).

Oh, did I forget to mention, Indians eat with their fingers, everything but soup. Utensils are available but the bulk of people eat with their right hand. Usually, but not always, they will tear up a piece of flatbread (naan or roti or paratha) and pinch some food into it and eat it. Other times they will just pick it up with their fingers even though, as I have said before, most food is served as a puree or in a sauce. Now, for a moment, try to imagine the melee of 6 or 7 people at a table eating different foods from 4 or 5 plates with maybe an eighth person circling the table picking from all the plates and all of them eating with their fingers. I can only hope they know this eighth person which is not always obvious.

I have found that I can take two dishes that I do not like and mix them together to create and uniquely edible choice. For example, there is a plain yoghurt-like product called Dahi, by itself it is sour and very uninteresting, then there is another product called Misty Doi, which is a custard-like yoghurt with the super sweetness of flan, too sweet for me. Mixed together, however, it is a near perfect balance of tart and sweet. Another combination I have found is Dal, which is mashed lentil with a ridiculous amount of spice added which makes it inedible to me and plain white rice which I also do not like because it is ....well....plain. I take a large amount of rice, add a small amount of Dal and I get a nicely spiced rice dish.

Just nod if you can hear me.

Tastes Like Chicken

I was recently paid a nice compliment. Someone said I was looking thinner. I know that I am losing weight because I had to poke another hole in my belt when my pants would not stay up. I had hoped to lose weight as the result of the change in diet but I had also hoped to be eating more local dishes by now as well. Back home I am very rarely reticent to try new things. I am always scouting the grocery store for international foods to augment our NA diet. Several years ago I realized that, as a family, we were eating meat every evening and more and more of it.

At the height of our mostly meat eating diet we were consuming two pounds of meat per meal for a family of four. As a New Years Resolution, I lowered that to one pound per meal and the following year, I lowered it again to 600 grams (the boys were getting bigger so I couldn't lower it more). The next year I lowered it to 600 grams every two days, so one day is meatless and one with meat. I believe that it has made for some more interesting choices and since many cultures, especially eastern cultures, use meat as an ingredient in the main dish rather than as the main dish. As a result, we have been adding many new and interesting eastern dishes.

Indian cuisine has not made it to my table at home yet. My wife claims she does not like curry and though I have tried to explain that there really is no such thing as curry since curry simply means a melange of spices, I have not been able to prove this to her. Outside of India, Indian cuisine has been simplified down to the most basic probably in the same way that you cannot find the Chinese food that is found in NA in China or Pizza in Italy. So in NA, Indian food equals curry. In Britain, for example, they send out for Curry which means chicken in a yellow curry sauce with rice. Also, Indian food outside of India has a distinctive smell, as soon as I said that, you nodded your head. Well, here is the strange thing, Indian food, in India, does NOT have that smell.

India is 80% Hindu and the bulk of that is vegetarian. Most of their diet consists of pulses which is a common term worldwide but in NA we call them legumes. This is represented mostly by all types beans, peas and lentils, usually dried. I am prepared to speculate that the Indian love of spice is due to the plainness of the main ingredients. As our family tries to wean itself off meat, I have been layering in legumes. Split pea with ham soup, lentil soup, and my favourite - rattlesnake stew made with pinto beans and tomatoes (no rattlesnakes are injured in the process). The problem that I am having with Indian food is the plethora of spices, mostly hot, in each dish. I wonder if their palate has become immune to the spices causing them to need more spice just to taste the spice much like a person who salts their food needs to add more and more salt just to taste the salt.

Our cafeteria (pantry) has a varied menu and my hosts are always inviting me to try something they are eating. I am interested so I try but mostly I just order Chicken Fried Rice without spice, they make it special for me and even though I ask for no spice, it is still spicy on par with TexMex cooking. I really cannot imagine what it would be like if I did not insist on no spice. By the way the chicken part of Chicken Fried Rice means there was a chicken near the grill while they were preparing the rice or maybe it means that the Chicken Fried the Rice, because he was very careful not to get put into the rice. Fortunate for him, I am cutting back on meat anyways.

Didn't your mother teach you how to use a fork?

Are You Really Going To Wear That

I stand out here in many ways; white, I have seen maybe 4 white people in the past month; tall, at 6 foot I am a full head taller than most Indians; overweight, most Indians, even the well fed ones, are thin. Most of all, however, I stand out because of the way I dress. It is almost December and the daytime temperatures still hover in the 90's plus humidity, night time drops down to a frigid 75. I say frigid because the night doorman at my hotel wears a hoodie with the hood up and a lumberjack jacket over top done up, so it must be cold. With temperatures like this, if I am not at work, I am wearing shorts. Admittedly, I will wear shorts even when it gets into the 50's in NA but in this part of India, I do not believe that 50 has ever been seen. Maybe when India was still an island in the southern hemisphere.

So for me, comfortable means shorts and a golf shirt, running shoes with white socks and I can walk for days before I see anyone similarly dressed. I have seen a similar phenomenon when visiting Mexico and the Caribbean, most men wear long pants. Maybe I forgot to grow up because I see children wearing shorts but no adults. Even when I wear pants, I still stand out because I wear khakis or dockers and the men here wear dark slacks or jeans. For a shirt they wear collared full button poly-cotton dress style shirt no matter the day, the temperature or the job they are doing, I have seen mechanics underneath cars changing oil in dress slacks and dress shirt. Most men wear sandals without socks but I have seen closed shoes in the office environment and steel toes in factories.

Most women still wear the Sari or a conservative cut knee length dress with contrasting legging, no low cut necklines, no mini skirts or shorts and no bare legs. On weekends younger girls will wear jeans and blouses. One interesting fact, ALL women have long hair and ALL men have short hair and no one wears hats despite the sunny cloudless skies.

Many travelogues will tell you to bring less clothes and buy here because clothing is cheap here and while that is true, it does not take into account selection and size. Selection is limited to the styles mentioned above. Fortunately, the sari only comes in one size so it just needs to be arranged properly but you still need a blouse with it. For men, I expect Big And Tall to be nearly impossible to find since most men here are short and small. Shoes are difficult to find above size 12 for men and although I am a 12, I still cannot find a shoe to fit me. I expect there is a limit on the women's side as well. I forgot to bring a tie and it took a while to find one, even large department stores do not carry them. A hat was equally hard to find.

Is there meat in that?

Hey Mister! Can You Spare a Rupee?

It is almost rhetorical to speak about poverty in India. How many times did your mother say "Eat your dinner, don't you know there are people starving in India?" As a developing country, India is among the top growing nations but the growth is palpably uneven. The economy is growing at approximately 7% per annum and currently has the 11th highest total GDP at $1.8 trillion but the incredible size of the population means that per capita GDP is only $1,414 putting them in 146th place (all quotes are in US  dollars). Purchasing Power Parity (PPP), however, raises this to $3,650. To simplify, PPP takes into account that many items, especially food and clothing, cost less here so an Indian can afford to make less than an equivalent NA. This is not a Economics lesson but just to get some perspective, Canada ranks 10th in GDP at $1.85 Trillion with a per capita GDP of $51,000,  also 10th. Our PPP is lower at $41,000 because things cost more in Canada than our neighbours to the South will pay for comparable goods. PPP also measure the strength of the dollar so on the next measurement, our PPP may go up.

Of course these numbers are averages, there are lots of people in Canada making less that $40K, but here is where the numbers diverge, a NA earning $40K is by no means wealthy but s/he is not homeless either. An Indian making $1414 is. Speaking of rent only, a 1 bedroom flat with kitchen (1BK) in NA will vary between $450 to $1000 per month, so between $5500 and $12000 per year, well below the GDP level but in India a 1BK will run closer to 8000rp ($135Cdn) per month or 96000rp ($1620Cdn) per year, already exceeding the individual GDP. Homelessness is not a problem in India, it is a way of life.

Income disparity is a problem the world over but it is especially pronounced in India. The latest Forbes list includes 100 Indian Billionaires but an office worker will earn approximately 1000rp ($17Cdn) per day or 20,000rp ($337Cdn) per month.  An office worker, however, must be very well educated, a college degree is a minimum requirement which makes it very difficult for the lowest classes to climb out of poverty. Children of the poor cannot gain the education that they need to move up so they stay poor and have more children who will be poor. Most businesses are sole ownership with minimal staff and there is not the plethora of retail and/or restaurant opportunities that can be found in NA so the largest group of Indians, at least 50%, live a hand to mouth existence earning less than 100rp ($1.70Cdn) per day.

For an office worker, rent represents about 40% of their income which is consistent with other market economies. Food and clothing are generally less than in NA which increases the purchasing power of the rupee inside the country. A kilo of rice is 50rp (.84Cdn) compared to $3 in Canada, onions are 30rp (.51Cdn) per kilo, in Canada $1.47 per kilo. A 2L bottle of Coke is 75rp (1.26Cdn) which will cost $1.99 in Canada. You can spend more if you want but you can buy a pair of shoes in a department store for 500rp (8.43Cdn), same for a brand name golf shirt like Polo or Izod. A woman can buy a nice dress for 1000rp  (16.87Cdn) and leggings (since she cannot go bare legged) for 350rp (5.90Cdn). These are prices you will find in larger stores and malls but Indians spend most of their money at street vendors and are paying even less. One thing you will not find here is a Dollar Store but at these prices, everywhere is a Dollar Store.

Save up those rupees though if you want a computer or a mobile phone. A base line laptop computer is 30,000rp ($505Cdn) which is about what you could pay in NA but it makes it very much a luxury item in India. Mobile phones are similarly priced but are a necessity as the local phone system is expensive and unreliable. Many Indians forgo laptops and desktops and use their handhelds for internet access.

Really, you're wearing that?

I Can`t Find The Recycle Bin

Pollution is not a growing problem here, it is already a massive problem and it is growing worse. The air quality in large centers is abysmal. Every single day the weather report quotes "smoke" which is actually smog. There is a haze overhanging everywhere that is similar to fog so that you cannot see for long distances because the buildings or mountains are hidden behind a haze. Although the government will say that they are doing something about the pollution and quotes fines for abuses, nothing is actually being done about it. I have had to choose to not post most of the photographs that I have taken for a couple reasons. First, my natural politeness makes me want to not show this country and my hosts in a bad light and second, the pictures that are not closeups are hidden and blurry because of the haze and the pictures that are closeups cannot filter out the garbage strewn everywhere. The pictures that I recently posted on Facebook are in the very tourist rich area so they spend a lot more time cleaning it at the expense of everywhere else.

I have been told that there is garbage pick up but I have yet to see it. The locals dump their garbage anywhere and once one person has dumped their garbage, it becomes the place where everyone else follows suit. I did see them have to bring in a backhoe and dump truck to clean up one street that was piled high with garbage. The locals appear to count on the dogs, birds and the destitute to pick through the garbage to keep the piles lower which really only helps to spread the mess over a larger area.

As a developing country they have one foot in the West and one in their own country which is exacerbating the problem. Westerners love of packaged food, bottled water, canned pop and throwaway cutlery has been layered into this nation without all the attendant services. Cans, bottles, paper, and plastic all go into the garbage. Recycling does not exist and with a population of 1.1 Billion that cannot even drink their own water from the tap, try to imagine the amount of garbage being generated.

Walking along a street, you cannot even find a trash can to toss the drink container or chocolate wrapper from the snack that you just consumed. A local will just throw it on the ground. For myself, I put it in my bag and take it back to the hotel to throw it away hoping that the hotel has proper garbage takeaway. I still hate that I am throwing a recyclable can into a trashbag.

I have avoided wearing a pollution mask so far. As a large white guy, I already stand out a mile but I may be wearing one very soon, I had to use my handkerchief today, waiting for my driver who was late (again) because the fumes from the traffic were unbearable. Almost all vehicles are diesel and not the high efficiency diesel either. The trucks and buses are decades old, spewing black smoke as they travel up and down overcrowded roads.

Until the people step forward and say this is unacceptable, this mess will continue unabated until the Ganges itself dies.

Brother can you spare a dime?

Does a Burger Comes With Those Fries?

Finally got to a McDonalds on Friday. There are five in Navi Mumbai which has a population of over 1 million. Since there are five in my hometown of 200,000, it is safe to assume this is not a destination of choice. A 'burger' does not mean a hamburger or a beef burger, it means something inside a bun which is definitely not beef. I never expected to find beef and never even intended to look for it out of respect for the local traditions. It is not illegal to eat beef but it is illegal to slaughter cattle in most states so it is more of a case of supply than demand. It is stated that the cow is sacred but this is not strictly correct. In strict Hinduism, all life is revered thus a strict Hindu is a vegetarian. The cow had a slightly higher status as the result of the value it provided, either as a work beast or as a source of fertilizer or as the provider of dairy products of which there are many dishes, especially sweets, which include dairy. So the cow represented wealth and it wasn't until much later that it attained sacred status. So when I was offered a burger, I was certainly confused and even when offered a burger you still need to say what kind, so it is just another American tradition that is misconstrued.

So McDonalds looks like McDonalds should look on the outside and the inside but the menu is very different. For lunch and dinner you will only find three comparable items, McChicken, Filet-o-Fish and French Fries. There are many local add ons, Chicken Maharaja (almost a big mac but spicier and of course with chicken) and a Vege burger which is mostly potato. I have had a McChicken and a Filet-o-Fish, they are very plain, maybe even more plain than in NA which may explain why McDonald's is not a popular choice. The breakfast menu is more familiar, Sausage McMuffin with or without Egg, Hash Brown and Pancakes are still available. I have had the Sausage McMuffin which does not compare well to its NA counterpart but the pancakes are quite good and the Hash Brown is exactly the same. No Apple pies but they do have McFlurries and a spectacular treat called a McFloat 26rp (.43cdn) which is a soda drink with ice cream on top. I used to be able to get these when I was a kid but they fell out of popularity for no good reason.

Prices probably keep people out of McDonalds. A large sized McChicken Value meal (medium in NA) is about 200rp (3.34Cdn). The same meal in Canada is in the 6 to 7 dollar range and less in the US. I know you are thinking "really, why don't they go all the time but 200rp is about 2 hours pay for an office worker whereas even the lowest paid person in Canada could buy a 6 dollar meal with less than one hours pay.
One big change here and this goes for everywhere you go, large is medium, medium is small, small is baby sized and there is no extra large. Probably helps them to not have the obesity issues there are in NA. Same thing with pizza, large 500rp (8.36cdn) is medium, medium 350rp (5.83cdn) is small and regular (small) 200rp (3.33cdn) is like a personal size pizza at Pizza Hut.

Coffee comes with a lot of cream and sugar, as does tea (Chai). If you ask for black coffee, you still get sugar so you need to ask for 'Black no Sugar' if that is what you really want. Chai, by the way, does not mean spiced tea and also, it is hard to find Diet Soda outside a larger grocery store while smaller stores and restaurants do not carry it.

Ok, I am finished my drink, Where is the recycle bin?

Pass The Spice, Please......No!.....Pass It!

Finding good food to eat continues to be a challenge for me in India. I am not seeking foods that are Western in nature. In fact, I want to eat more local foods and I had expected that by now I would be eating Indian food all the time but there are several hurdles that I have yet to clear. The first hurdle is that for the most part when I sit down to a meal in NA, I recognize each food item on my plate. Here, however, most food is mashed or pureed before serving and even the people eating it do not really know what is in it. Also, when an Indian says "It is not spicy." do not believe them! I believe their taste buds are blown out and they need more and more spice just to taste the food.

Indians, generally, eat the same food at each meal unlike a NA who will eat something for breakfast, something different for lunch and something different again for dinner. To date, I have only tried a few dishes, cheese dosa, which I have had several times. Dosa is a very thin rice pancake that more likely could be called flat bread, I do not know where the cheese is because it is rolled around some mashed potatoes that are peppery (maybe there is cheese in the potatoes). To an Indian, this is very bland so it is served with spicy dips which I tasted but did not eat. I also tried dal which is mashed yellow lentils with spices in a broth form (it can be a paste as well) which is served over rice, I had mine with the dal on the side and used maybe a tablespoon of the lentil broth with my rice, so I really just had lightly flavoured white rice.

Someone from NA, especially Canada, might ask, "Where are you keeping this one billion plus people? Is there anywhere left to stand? India, although the 7th largest country in the World can still fit inside the two largest provinces of Canada, a place where we are only storing 15 Million people. So there must not be anyplace left to stand, right? Actually, they are rather piled on top of each other in the cities but there is plenty of space around them which then makes one wonder, why are people starving if there is land left to plant food. India could learn a lesson or two from Cuba on using unused spaces. They have nearly year round growing conditions, no issues with ground water. As a hobby farmer, I would love to stake a claim here and turn some of this unused soil into arable ;and. Today, however, I did see an excellent example of urban farming. Along the tracks on what is assumably government land some locals were tilling the soil and planting some type of vegetable.

I did finally make it to D Mart today, I want to apologize to WalMart for mistakenly comparing the two. D Mart, while it is far ahead of its counterparts in India in terms of its approach, it is more akin to a Kresge's or a Woolworth, if any of you are old enough to remember visiting these stores. Do not misunderstand, there is no reason to try to attract Western buyers, I haven't seen any other Westerners, although I did see two Chinese guys last week. It is just that I have been trying to get to a D Mart for several weeks now so I had had high expectations and was seriously let down by the experience.

Can I get a burger please with those fries?

Plan and Plan Again

No amount of planning will protect you against failure. This is true anywhere but more true here. I have always been a strong believer that one should hope for the best but plan for the worst. In India, I have had to modify this to plan for the worst and then plan some more. I know that sometimes my blogs come off as doom and gloom but that is not my goal, I hope that you can find the humour in each situation as I do and if you ever have the opportunity to visit or work here, you will use my experiences to make your time a little easier. It is up to the visitor to conform to the way of life here, not the other way around

I am learning how ill equipped a traveler is who relies on travelogues before coming here. Having gone through the many travelogues, I can say this with confidence. These were not written by recent visitors, in fact some were written by non-visitors because if you read enough of them you realize that they are often exact or near exact copies of each other, essentially cut and pasted from one travelogue to another.
I will add a new observation; Never ask only one person for information, whether it be directions or anything really. I average about five people before I am confident and I use the best 3 out of 5 strategy, if 3 of the 5 people have said the same thing, this is the most likely truth. An Indian will not say 'I don't know.' for which I believe there are two reasons. First, they have a natural politeness which causes them to want to help and second, they desire to not want to 'lose face' by not appearing knowledgeable.

I recently attempted to expand my horizons a little, going to the same places all the time is not educational. I wanted to go to a D-Mart, which I have been told is the closest relative of WalMart that India has. I did my usual exhaustive search, going from Mapquest to Google Maps to Wikimapia to Google Earth to identify landmarks that I already knew and when I was confident I knew where I was going I departed. Followed this road, crossed that, went through there, came to next cross street at which time based on the map I should have been able to see the next road from where I was standing (right next to a water tower near a train station). The road was not to the left where it should have been, and even accounting for some inaccuracies, I was at a bend in the road so I could see in both directions for probably a mile, there were NO cross streets at all, either way, just marshland or what they call mangroves. I stood there for a bit and a crowd began to gather around me, so I say "D-Mart?". At least three people point in three different directions, west, south and north (west was through the mangroves so I discounted that one).

I started walking South since accordingly this was the most likely, but even after a short walk, I could see no new turnoffs in the distance. Several people were following me, talking to me in Hinglish (which I do not understand any better that Hindi. I decide to call this a failure and return to more recognizable areas. I return to the train station because I need supplies so I need to go someplace that I can find to get them.

Before I buy my ticket a train goes through the station and  I see that the people in second class are literally hanging out the doors. Some people are outside of the train car, holding on to something. So I buy a First Class ticket, 65rp (1.10Cdn). What I do not take into account is that there is only 1 or 2 First Class cars per train. As I mentioned before the train doesn't really stop, it slows to a near stop then goes again, so train comes through and I cannot get to a FC car in time and SC is stuffed full (another fail) so I estimate where the FC car was the previous time and sit down to wait for next train. This train comes and I am only off by one car but i can run and jump and make this train.

On the positive side, my new little friend was waiting for me, this time she brought many friends, I was fortunate since I had a lot of cookies for them. I buy local cookies and usually find that I do not like them so I save them up over the week and when I am asked for handouts then I give away my cookies. I had about half a bag today which was good because she had at least six other children in tow. I wish I could do more but as a tall white guy, I already bring too much attention to myself. A tall, white, overly generous guy would be mauled.

Someday I may understand the food.

Good Luck Finding It

Shortly after my arrival in India, I had a cold, just a cold, probably from constantly moving from cold to oppressive heat and back to cold. They are very judicious in their use of Air Conditioning. Offices and major corridors are Air Conditioned but lesser used hallways, elevators, washrooms and the cafeteria are not. So someone like myself is constantly perspiring, then cold, then perspiring, then cold again. So, anyways, cold equals runny nose which would then lead to the use of a tissue or would it. No tissue exists, anywhere. It reminded of the many other things that did not previously seem like luxuries but now are.

Don't look for napkins when you are eating, you won't find them. So far I have only found paper napkins in Western style eateries but I will continue to seek them and report my findings. Don't look for toilet paper when you use the toilet. So far I have only found what they call a 'commode' which here, is a toilet with a water sprayer nearby. You would use it in the way that you might use a toilet with a bidet. There are instructions on how to use them (not specifically for westerners) which suggests that the commode is not as common as it should be, I believe there are previous generations of the commode in existence (possibly prevalence) where there is a toilet and a jug of water. I have read about this but I have had the fortune to not need its use yet. After you are done with the commode and have washed your hands, don't look for paper towels, hand towels or even a hand blower because you will not find those either. Indian's carry a handkerchief for this requirement. Ecologically sound idea, one of the very few that they have

When visiting a foreign country, there is no reason to assume that said country should conform to my need for Western goods. I believe this is axiomatic and I am not seeking Western goods but I am seeking what I would call 'transitional' goods, items which are recognizable to me in either their ingredients or their makeup. Goods that have one foot in the West and one in the East. With these goods, I would be able to make the leap from east to west by way of transitional stepping stones. Indian foods are unrecognizable, the names do not describe what might be in the food, the people making it do not speak English and the people that speak English do not know what is in the food most of the time or they cannot translate into understandable terms because the Indian words do not always have English counterparts or it is not made in a way that they are use to since they come from a different part of the country.

During Diwali which is a festive season akin to Christmas I was given a Diwali gift by a co-worker, I thanked my Diwali fairy profusely because I was really looking forward to trying something local. On the box it describes the contents as "a mouth-watering combination of Sweet and Namkeen assortments....". The entire box is in English except the one word 'namkeen' so i know it is NOT a synonym for sweet. So I ask, "what is namkeen?", he stutters for a bit and says there isn't a word for it, "are you trying to not say that it means 'spicy hot'?" " no, it is definitely is not spicy hot," he affirms, guess what, it was spicy hot. If you are interested, the best description I can offer is to sprinkle chilli powder on your caramel popcorn before eating it.

Remember, even the best made plans can fail.   

Get Used To It

You will be stared at, a lot and intensely, get used to it early. Indians, men especially, are going to stare at you, and it is not that curious, 'hey, look, there is something new over there' look and then move on. It is the 'stop whatever you are doing, turn, en masse and don't look away until he is just a dot on the horizon' look. At first, I tried looking back. In NA, if someone is staring and you look them directly in the eye they will almost always turn away. This does not work here. So I switched to 'passive ignorance' which is to always look like there is something more interesting to see just to the side. Doesn't stop them from staring but it makes me care less that they are.

I took the train to Vashi and on the way back I am sitting in the back of the car with about 15 men staring at me. One of them finally engages me in conversation. "London?", this is a typical belief, (not America, which I find strange), "No, Canada" "Oh, do you know Toronto?" another typical question , "Yes, I live close to there, it is 0 Celsius there today" Now the hard stares have turned to rapt attention. "Snow?" "Soon, probably another couple weeks."  More questions and soon I must get out at my station, they seem disappointed that I am leaving, I will probably be the discussion at dinner that night.

Another interesting phenomenon which I am calling a reverse race bias. I noticed it first at the Airport. After you leave baggage, there is yet another security check out where they scan your bags again. I got in line and a security person pulls me out of line, saying "you do not need to go through security" and passes me through unchecked. Then the next day, security at the complex I am working out is checking vehicles, opening trunks, they are about to check our vehicle when he sees me and passes us through, same when we exit. When I am out for a walk, if I am facing traffic, no one honks at me but if I am facing away from traffic, they honk away merrily. I would have expected something different based on India's experience with Colonialism so I asked a local about this and he said there was actually a very good, very deeply ingrained reason for this.

In the very ancient past when the Vedas were being put together in Sanskrit, there was a passage that went Atithi Devo Bhavah that translates to 'The guest is God'. So it would follow that a tall white guy must be a guest and must be treated well. It has helped me to see the overtly helpfulness to which I am treated, especially by service people, that I mistook for a desire to garner tips may have had a deeper reason. I still tip but I try not to expect too much for the meager tips that I give and I offer them with more respect. On the topic of tipping, the travel books say 5rp (.08), I find that to be a little low, I have been giving 10rp (.17) which still seems low but you can actually buy things for 10rp here. Not too many things can be bought in NA for 17 cents. (Is there anything?)

Indians seems to bounce back and forth between extremely polite and extremely rude. Ordering food is very difficult here, nothing looks familiar, and English is a lot less prevalent than I had expected so I often find the need for assistance. Quite often someone who speaks English offers help before being asked but the next moment that same person may be elbowing ahead of me in line. To me and most of the people I know, this is rude and it certainly seems to go against the belief that the guest is God. I have a feeling that they are not aware of their actions and that in a country of over a billion, maybe they need to clamour to get attention.

You may have noticed that most of my comments revolve around interactions with men. There is a simple reason for this, men and women do not interact too much. Women have their own cars on the train. In public you will rarely see them walking together and certainly not showing any affection or even holding hands unless they are in their teens. In the workplace, however, men and women interact well and there appears to be the semblance of equality but like NA, men are still more likely to occupy the more senior positions.

Could someone pass me a kleenex?

All Aboard

I ventured a little farther afield today. I took the train to Vashi (washy). I am finding that traveling even short distances in India to be exhausting. The first challenge is and always will be the constant heat. There is a little joke about the Climate in this part of India. They have three seasons, Summer, Rainy and Not Summer. Not Summer, the season I am experiencing is still in the 30s Celsius (90's F) and though it may cool at night, it does not cool by much, maybe mid 20's so that the next day it all starts up again. The other phenomena that I am tracking is that High Humidity does not bring the expected Rain Showers that I am typically used to, so there is no cooling off period in between heat waves.

Since I am without a car and do not intend to get one. (See post about a typical Indian day on the roads.) I am left with a few options; walking, taxi, autoricksaw or train or some combination thereof. My first trip out on Friday was to simply find the Train Station. Most addresses here are far too complicated to understand even by the locals and maps such as Google map and Mapquest are not accurate enough, oft times misplacing a building (not their fault, if the locals don't know where it is, why should a mapsite). So I use a combination of sites at the same time, Satellite maps from Wikimapia or Google Earth in conjunction with Google Map or Mapquest. I am fine so long as I have a baseline or the building is big enough or described as being beside something I can find. I had an idea of where the train station was and on the map it was very large so it seemed a good start.

Unfortunately, the first step is to cross the highway, there is a light of a sort but it is a six lane road and the light only stops traffic in one direction. Native Indian pedestrians have developed two strategies for crossing roads, either be fleet of foot or be fearless. Since I am not fleet of foot, I have adopted the fearless strategy. I have the slight advantage of being six foot tall and white which makes me a curiosity. Do not make eye contact, use your peripheral vision and make sure that they can stop, stepping in front of a motorcycle or a rickshaw or a slower moving car....good!, stepping in front of a bus....just as bad here as anywhere else.

So, once on the other side of the road I have to decide between left or right, now I know for sure the train station is left but the pedestrian flow is to the right and I am pretty sure I need to approach the train from the backside based on my read of the maps. So I go right and a short distance later there is a break in the fence that people are going through so I follow. It is only a worn path leading down and over the tracks then back up to a settlement, possibly Rabale. Now that I am on a city street I definitely have to go left to reach the train station. The road is narrow and double lane with no sidewalks and shared by all types of traffic; pedestrians, motorcycles, cars, buses and heavy trucks.

Once I could see the train station in the distance, I was reasonably confident I could get there but when I got close, I found the same problem, just a scrabble path to get to to the station. After navigating this path I made it to the train station. It is very bare bones, a large, mostly open building with no services. At this point I realized I was thirsty, I had been out for about 30 minutes. Now where I live if I had been walking for 30 minutes I would have passed three Variety Stores, a grocery store, a Tim Hortons and a McDonalds but even though today I had passed multiple businesses none of them sold water or pop or even appeared to have electricity. No choice, I had to walk the 30 minutes back before I could get a drink, so first lesson learned, carry a drink.


With a little more exploring, I found a faster way to the train station, cutting my 30 minute walk to less than 15. So by Saturday I had determined that there was a mall in Vashi and though I am not much of a mall shopper in NA, finding a large number of stores in one place was a very attractive option at this point. I requested a first class ticket and was charged 20rp (.32Cdn) based on the web site I was expecting to charged more. I was right because when I asked around, I was told I had a second class ticket. This particular train was a more rundown version of a New York Subway Train, quite full, with more room for standing than sitting. I made a friend in the train station who stayed with me all the way to Vashi, we chatted about differences between our countries and I asked questions
about stations as we passed.

He said the ride would be 25 minutes which it did not seem like on a map. As the train goes through the four stations it really only slows down and people are expected to jump on or off (no accounting for age). The Mall was right across the road from the station as promised but it was here that I was the victim of my first scam. I had read about the many scams to which I could be subjected, this one was not on the list. An apparent Good Samaritan approached me saying there was something on my ear. I am in the sub tropics so this could be a lot of things, he has a little medical fanny pack on and he pulls out some tweezers and starts cleaning my ears. Once again, sub tropics, seems like a good idea to have clean ears, so I am torn, allow a stranger who seems like a professional assist me or walk away. Unfortunately, my natural politeness won and I stood there, but when he pulled a wad of ear wax about the size of a marble out of my ear (that I had just cleaned that morning), I realized this was a scam. Even then it was still difficult to extricate myself with his insistence and my politeness getting in the way but when he pulls out a card telling me I owe him 500rp ($8Cdn) I begin to walk away but a pack of ear cleaners are following me telling me I owe money. Since I live in a downtown area in my Hometown, I had already developed the trick of keeping a small amount of money in one pocket so when a panhandler asks for money, I can give him this money without pulling out a lot of other money, second panhandler gets nothing but I point to the first and say he got it. So, I was using this strategy here, I had 100rp (1.60Cdn) in one pocket and I gave it to the guy to get him off my back. They argued more but by then they were arguing to my back. Another lesson learned.

I next had an encounter with some street urchins, two very dirty but still cute girls who wanted money. Once again, this is an outlying area so the number of street poor is much lower. I expect when I visit a larger center that I will see an entire different side to street life. I was prepared for these two, I had cookies, far better than money for both of us. With cookies, I do not need to worry about adults approaching me and the children are more likely going to get to eat the cookies, since the adults will take the money away. They trailed me for a while trying to get more out of me, 'Pepsi' appeared to be the only English word they knew but they gave up after a short while. The first mall was a waste of time selling only up-market Indian goods but in the second mall I found more recognizable brands.

Getting back was a bit of a chore, leaving there were only two tracks, going north, going south. In Vashi there were four tracks and my ticket did not say which was the right track. After asking about 5 people I was fairly confident I had the correct track and fortune favoured me so I returned to Rabale, tired, safe and a little smarter.

But why is everyone staring?

Buckle Up! It's Going To Be A Bumpy Ride.

First impressions of India, imagine the Bahamas on speed. They have the same mix of Old World and Modern, they drive on the left, and there are palm trees instead of coniferous or deciduous trees. The drive from the airport to the hotel was an unbelievable experience. The city (country?) has a distinct lack of stop signals, stops sign, or anything that would suggest stopping is a good thing. Instead of stop signals they employ the well known system of 'chicken', keep nudging in and nudging in until someone balks, then race across the road. I figure it is a 50/50 proposition, either you get there or you don't need to get anywhere ever again. I asked my driver to stop at a McDonalds and as we are backing out there are some pedestrians coming so I say 'ok, two people coming up behind you, TWO PEOPLE DIRECTLY BEHIND US!', he doesn't flinch, best chicken player I have ever met. The pedestrians lost that one when they had to scurry away or be squashed. No posted speed limits apparent, either. Speeds seem to managed by the liberal use of very large potholes (sinkholes?), speed bumps and wide cracks in the road. If you do not slow down for them, you will rip out the undercarriage of your car which is cheaper than having police manage traffic and keeps the economy ticking by use of the trickle down theory, from bad driver to mechanic to part suppliers to manufacturers.

Second day on the road, it is daylight and the roads are a lot busier. I am in a developing part of Mumbai known as Navi Mumbai (New Mumbai) and so I am told that the traffic is light by comparison which is both entirely believable and equally unbelievable. Once again, an apparent lack of stop lights. All drivers (all!) drive with one hand on the wheel and one on the horn. On a three lane road, for the most part it is four or more lanes of traffic plus pedestrians. The game of chicken continues wherein it appears that 'Might Makes Right". The larger the vehicle the greater the advantage, large trucks, followed by buses, then cars, then rickshaws, then motorcycles and lastly pedestrians. This is a pecking order which seems to be followed because all the horn honking appears to work which in turn makes for more horn honking as vehicles jockey for position on the road.

At one point we came to a complete stop at what is apparently an unmarked intersection on a main highway (no light, of course). This is not a concept easily grasped by a North American who is used to a more planned movement of traffic. This is not even akin to grid lock in Manhattan or stop'n'go traffic in LA. This is a magnitude of difference. We are at a dead stop with a wall of vehicles and pedestrians crossing our path. As far as I know we are here for the day. But somehow, miraculously it seems, we nose our way through and we are back on our way in less that five minutes. I am not able to do this phenomenon justice, it truly has to be experienced to be believed. Most of the time, I am laughing out loud at the apparent absurdity of the situation, causing, I am sure, my driver to think I am just a little crazy as well.

Can't wait to try the train!

Winging My Way East

Air travel has changed in my lifetime from a pleasure to a chore. Some of it may be because I am getting older and the newness of the experience has worn off but most of it, I am sure is a result of the change in the experience. I had stopped flying for about ten years. I believe that the major changes in Air Travel can be traced back to 9-11 (hopefully the last time you will see this over-quoted reference will appear in my postings). It wasn’t only the changes in security that occurred, there had been security beforehand and I never felt unsafe. It was the shakeup in the whole industry that changed air travel. Ridership went down so the number of flights were reduced, then as ridership increased more flights were not added, just more seats were filled or more seats were added to existing planes. The number of carriers dropped so consumers were given fewer choices. For me, the final insult came with the removal of shoes. As petty as this might seem, I invite you to ask yourself is this 'where it will stop?'.

You are told to be there two hours in advance of your flight. I am still not sure why since that is just two more hours tacked onto an already long trip. When I arrive at the Airport, I go to the counter, the counterperson directs me to the auto-kiosk where instead of doing it myself another person does all the keying for me, so back to the same counterperson who redoes everything the first person did and off I go, I won't waste my time on the security procedures that we have all been through except to say that I believe the real purpose of the security process is to make the people who are getting on the plane FEEL safer not actually BE safer. So then I wait the many hours until they call the plane which is when everyone leaps to their feet to get in line which makes sense since the first one on the plane is the first one to arrive at their destination (right?). I am in coach because my company is paying and although I was willing to upgrade to business class, it was full. The plane ride is interminable, spent with someone elbow in my ribs.

I speculate that plane rides, especially long ones, are akin to being in jail. You must stay in one uncomfortable place for a very long period of time with very little to do and you can only get up to go to the bathroom. People bring you the food they want to bring you. The fight staff do try to make the intolerable tolerable. (Quick shout out to Saint Sharon on Delta for her excellent coffee service.) We land which is all we really ever wanted when we started. I spend some of my children's inheritance in the coffee shop. European Airport Security has a much more personalized way of making you wait. You stand in line until a security person comes and gets you one person at a time to ask you all the questions to which the answer is, was and always will be NO. Then you go through the life reducing scanner and get your own pat down, my guy was so thorough I was expecting a dinner invitation. Off we go again, blah blah blah, terrible this, awful that, nice flight staff and land again, now India. For the security conscious amongst you, you will laugh at this one, at the end of the jetway, there are people meeting people getting off the plane, now this is before baggage, before immigration and before customs.

I still have to get to the hotel!

Backing Up a Little

This Blog has the intended purpose of keeping my friends and family up to date with my daily life while I am here in India. It has the further advantage of allowing me to verbalize my daily challenges as a way to de-stress after a day of challenges here on the Sub Continent. For all readers please enjoy my experiences or use them as a cautionary tale. In general, I try to find the humour in daily life wherever it presents itself. I hope you do too.

Preparing to go to India presented a host of challenges on its own. India requires a Visa for all travelers and they have contracted this out to a BPO, a particularly ineffective BPO. Now, I work for a BPO and before that I managed a small personnel placement service so I have nothing against the use of BPOs. The difference is that our company really does try to help the caller, not put them off to another day.

Even the incoming IVR says we are very busy so call back later, they give no sense that they intend to help at any point. After my Visa had been delayed beyond the promised time, I began calling in as to its status. Each day there was a promise to “open an enquiry” after the 3rd day I asked why would we need another enquiry, what happened to the last one, and was told there were no enquiries on my files, so I had been lied to three times at that point, this person promised an enquiry and when I asked how I could trust that an enquiry would be put in, he promised that he was the right person and since he had never promised an enquiry I would be able to believe him. Difficult to believe so rather than wait a day, I called back 10 minutes later and found out that, yes , in fact, he had put in an enquiry. The dispute then moved to emails.

Since I put down that I was to be a trainer, they wanted documentation from the university that was sending me over to train. We went back and forth for a while, with them not moving from their request. This was my final email to them

• I responded to your last email suggesting that the letters we sent were in support of a business visa. Thus we will not be submitting letters from a University. I further requested that you change the box that says RESEARCH AND TRAINING to a box that is more suitable to the supporting documents that we sent. I had hoped that by now this would be completed, further, once the application is changed to a business visa then the dollar amount that was sent would match up with the visa type that we actually require. You did not respond to that email so one week later we are no further ahead. Also, the list has grown from 2 outstanding issue to 5, I have no way whatsoever of understanding what you want me to do. I did supply a photo, you did not mention it in your previous email as being missing, you didn't mention a missing signature, I do not know how I would send you a signature. And the dollar amount you keep referring to is because we do not want a Research Visa (thus will not be supplying documents for a Research Visa). I need a resolution to this, I need you to tell me exactly what needs to be done to change this request from a research visa to a business visa. There are literally hundreds of people waiting for my arrival in India so that they can be trained to take over their new jobs. May I ask that you please do not request that I provide Supporting Documents for a Research Visa. We are requesting a Business Visa only. Email me or call me and tell me what is required to end this stalemate. People's livelihoods are depending on this. Please do not wait 1 more week before you respond again. I need this resolved, other people need this resolved. Thank you in advance for your timely assistance.

In a way it worked, rather than continuing to sit on the Visa, they finally put their back up and rejected it and said reapply which broke the stalemate which is all i wanted, something rather than nothing.

Even after resubmitting, I still had to do battle with them on a semi-regular basis, since I could no longer trust them, I shepherded my own Visa through their system, calling them to make sure it had moved from one step to another, each conversation required me to begin shouting at some point and calling them liars, etc. Every conversation started with them not being able to find any documentation from me and asking me for constant inputs of info but I was sophisticated enough to have the answers before they asked the questions, repeating what I had been told in a previous conversation with my characteristic "so this is what (name) said, so was he lying or are you" then suddenly the info would miraculously appear and another hurdle is cleared, Second last call was a Tuesday and we danced again for a while, no there is no application, oh, it is held up for lack of info, blah blah blah, me: no so and so said it was at the embassy for approval who is the liar, then suddenly (after about 15 more minutes of me shouting) oh, here it is yes we have it, we are dispatching it to you today, you should have it within 2 days,  me: thank you, this is all I wanted when we started this conversation. To my final discussion, on Friday, them: no we do not have it, no it is held up for documentation, i will put in an enquiry, Me: no you said you were returning it on Tuesday i just want the tracking number so i can get after the courier and see why they didn’t deliver, no, I was told by (name) on Tuesday it was being shipped so is he lying or are you. Finally, after more shouting by me, miraculously a tracking number, thank you this is all I wanted when we started. So I finally had my Visa.

I had adopted a could care less attitude about it, which made it easier to deal with these people,  didn’t care if they said no anymore so I went in guns blazing, always started out polite but every time they would start with, we can’t find any record of you and off I went like a rocket. If they had said kiss my *** you are not getting a Visa I would have said thank you give me my passport back. Seven weeks in a border community without a passport. I even threatened to bring in the RCMP one time for illegal seizure of a federal document.

Now I HAVE to go to India.