Happy Trails To You

It is nearly impossible to move around in India on your own. There are so many challenges that co-occur that make moving about very difficult. If you are here for a short time, plan to overpay for everything. The longer you are here, the more cost conscious you can become but it will still be likely that you will overpay. My Scottish/Irish heritage makes this very difficult for me. If I know how much something should cost, it is very bothersome for me to be willing to pay more but it is something that I have had to suppress to function here. Fortunately, even when I am forced to overpay, I am still paying well under a comparable price in NA.

There are many challenges to any form of travel here in India. Asking for directions is unlikely to work. I have suggested that English is still very lightly used despite a big push to Anglicize. English is a required course in the non-public schools but not taught in the public schools which is approximately 60% of the school population. For those who are taught English, unless it is used, it will be lost. I studied 12 years of French until the age of 17. At best, I can understand the gist of a conversation in French, read in French, and speak short sentences but since I have not used this language, my fluency is gone. All street signs are in Hindi whose characters are quite unique so you will not be able to parse the words. Streets do not run in straight lines so getting from one place to another is exceedingly onerous.

This forces you to use Taxis and Rickshaws which even by local standards are the most dishonest (opportunistic?) group of vendors. Assuming you can make yourself understood and assuming the person knows where you want to go, you can still be turned down for the fare, they quite simply may not want to take you where you want to go. This particular trait has been both the most challenging to accept and the most frustrating to combat during my time here. The only way to get around this issue is to overpay. I have some strategies that I can recommend to help you to overpay the least possible.

I assume you are staying in a hotel. Have the hotel negotiate the rate to your destination. This will give you the baseline for your return trip. Rickshaws are slower and less comfortable but cheaper and more available. Accept that you will pay more for the return trip but it will be up to you to decide how much more is acceptable. Most rickshaws are not metered so agree on the price before getting into the rickshaw, also keep small bills so that you can give exact change. Many drivers will claim they do not have change. I have paid more than double for a return trip but having a set price with someone who knows where you are going is more valuable than an open price with someone who can drive you around in circles without your knowledge. In absolute dollars, your total cost is still very low. For example, from my hotel to the center of Airoli is 20rp (.35Cdn). To get back to the hotel, I am usually quoted 40rp (.70Cdn) but I have paid as much as 60rp (1.05Cdn). If someone is rude enough to quote 100rp to 150rp, I just walk away, why should I waste my time with patently dishonest people.

For longer trips you will probably use AC Taxis. Most of these are metered but there are gypsy cabs that do not have meters. Same rules should apply, get some type of estimate so that he cannot take you on Mr Toad's Wild Ride and use that total to decide what you are willing to pay for the return. To get from my hotel to the nearest Mall is approximately 20 minutes and the least I have paid is 250rp (5.50Cdn) but I have paid as much as 400rp (7.05Cdn) for the return. To put things in perspective, back home I live only eight blocks from my work but if it is raining or snowing, I will take a taxi. The five minute ride costs me $6Cdn (350rp), the longest taxi ride I ever took in Canada occurred when my Jimmy wouldn't start and it was 3pm with my children getting out of school at 330pm. I taxied from the top of the city to the school downtown, approximately 15 minutes and it cost $19Cdn (1077rp).
 
You can book a Taxi online for the trip there and a separate one for the trip back but I have not been able to make this system work yet. Another option would be to negotiate for the driver to wait, it would not save you any money but it would guarantee that you get back to your hotel. I have been stranded many times where no one would bring me back at any price usually because they do not know where the hotel is even when I give them the address. I get food delivered from either McDonald's or Domino's more than three times a week, I have been in the same hotel, same room for four months, and I still get calls asking for directions.

The train which is akin to the Subway in NA is going to be your last line of defence so if you will be here for a while, make sure you are familiar with the stations. The cost is low, I estimate it at 10rp (.17Cdn) round trip per station for 2nd Class which is usually jam-packed and 40rp (.68rp) per station for 1st Class, this is only an estimate but if you assume five minutes between stations, a fifteen minute journey may cost 30rp (.51) or less in 2nd class. Ride the bus at your own peril, they are vintage 1950 style with the same comfort level as a Cool Hand Luke prison bus. I am not sure even the Bus Drivers know the routes and just the other day I saw one on fire.

How Is The Weather Where You Are?

Here, 85 and boring, with scattered periods of dullness. Tomorrow, a distinct chance of Nothing New.

In NA, the weather is a topic you can discuss with anyone anytime. Many jokes abound about weather in NA. "The best thing about the weather here is it is always changing.", "Don't like the weather, wait a hour." In India, however, no one ever talks about the weather...ever. This is probably because nothing ever changes, it gets hot in the afternoon, cools a little in the evening, if it is not the rainy season, it doesn't rain, no matter how humid it gets, it still does not rain. It doesn't even get cloudy, just hazy. They do not even have a Weather Section in the Newspaper, the most I have ever seen is a Special Interest piece if something very unusual happens, like when it went to -4C in Delhi in December.My arrival coincided with the end of rainy season, maybe they talk about the weather during the rainy season and they are all talked out when it ends.

I am here for the "Not Summer" Season, it is still hot and humid during the day but it cools off nicely to the High 60's/Low 70's at night. For a local this is "bolt the windows closed" temperature but for me it is just right. Fortunately, I am scheduled to leave just as Summer begins so I will not need to experience the worst of the weather, although here they say that the Rainy Season is the worst season. Personally, I will take the rain over the heat but having never been in a Monsoon, I probably don't have the right  perspective. Mumbai is Central West India at approx 19 degrees latitude, near the north border of the Subtropics. So there is still a lot of country South of here which would be actual tropics and land to the North which will experience four Seasons and even snow.

I never thought about how much I would have talked about the weather on any given day until I never talked about it. Even if I bring up the weather as a conversation starter here, "Seems cooler today than yesterday." If I get a response at all, it never goes beyond "Oh, yes". Without the weather to talk about, my chances at small talk are gone. I find that I usually sit in silence when I am waiting for my driver, then while he is driving me to work, then in the elevator, then in the pantry at lunch, then on the drive back to the hotel. Not because of a lack of language but the inability to start a conversation without the weather as a transitional topic.

Try to think of how many conversations you have each day that in the Winter start with: "Boy, it is cold out there today!" or "Cold enough for you?". In the Spring, "Do you think it will rain?", "I wonder if it will be a short Spring". What about the Summer? "Man, will it ever cool down around here?" or "Hot enough for you?". Finally the Fall, "The leaves are beautiful this year." or "I wonder if we will get an early snow." Now try to imagine NOT starting a conversation with a reference to the weather. "How is it outside?", "Do I need a coat?", "I gotta go sweep off my car.", "Well, I better bundle up before I go." Try to go through one day without talking about the weather, I doubt if you can. I still talk about the weather every day, I just don't do it with Indians, I do it with my NA friends and my NA family.

Is That Flashlight Loaded?

Security is everywhere in India. Every door to every store, restaurant, hotel, commercial, industrial or multi-residential unit has 1 or more security guards manning it. Be prepared for a bag inspection, a pat down, an electronic wand at every entrance and most exits. Your vehicle will be inspected, trunk opened, bottom of the car scanned. At 76 police persons per 100k people, India has amongst the lowest per capita police presence. Canada comes in at 202/100K and the US at 256/100k while most of Europe at 300+/100K. As undertrained as they are, Indian Security Guards act at least as a visual presence or deterrence.

Many policemen are unarmed, especially during daylight hours, and most security guards are unarmed at all times which actually make me feel safer. The searchers are ostensibly looking for weapons and/or explosives but the cursory glance given will only find the largest or most obvious bomb. It would need to be 6 sticks of dynamite with a large alarm clock attached like Wile E. Coyote uses to try to blow the Roadrunner to smithereens or a shiny 44 Magnum like Dirty Harry carries to blow holes in concrete before these lightly trained guards could actually be effective.
 
There are some positive aspects to the use of Security Guards, one very obvious one is employment. India currently has approximately 5.5 million security guards employed by about 15,000 security companies. As an industry, this sector is now the country’s largest corporate taxpayer. It is also the fastest growing sector at 25% per annum. Another benefit may be (and I cannot be certain of this), there are rules about women who have to work after dark and whether they get a security guard to make sure they arrive home safely. I am sure the woman is still only as safe as the person protecting her but if there is a driver and a security guard then the likelihood that she will return home safely is significantly improved. As a husband, I take some solace in this.

At my own business, the Security Guards took away my camera on one visit but they let me bring my (picture capable) cell phone in day after day. The 60 year old unarmed guard at my hotel acts as more of a door opener than a security force. He sleeps leaning up against the door so that when someone opens the door he (theoretically) will wake up. I do not wish to wake anyone from a sound sleep so I have learned to open the door slowly so that he doesn't wake up, I think it is the polite thing to do. So like most places, security in India is really only there to make you feel safer not actually be safer.

How is the weather where you are?

I Can't Say Enough About The Food.

Since my posts on food are the most popular, I have put together another. A new and now very dear friend has made it her responsibility to see that I am eating properly, mostly as the result of her pride in India and things Indian mixed with a soupçon of pity for me and my plight to find edible dishes. She cooks most of these dishes herself or sometimes her tai (maid) makes them and she has pulled back heavily on the spices to better suit my palate. Here is a sampling of those new dishes.

Potato bhaji, bhaji means 'with vegetables' so potato bhaji is just diced potatoes cooked slow with peppers, onions, carrots maybe, spiced and served with chapati, this is quite similar to corned beef hash without the corned beef. You should tear the chapati into small pieces and use it to pick up the potato mixture before eating. For Cabbage bhaji, you would substitute the potato for shredded cabbage, I never eat cabbage mostly because the only way that English/Irish cooking prepares it is to chop and boil, probably the least interesting presentation. However, I would ask for seconds of Cabbage bhaji, the combination of the flavours with the slow cooking removes the bitterness of the Cabbage from the taste, in fact, if I hadn't been told it was cabbage, I would not have never known.

Masala Dal, we have discussed Dal many times since it is a staple of Indian cuisine, cooked and mashed yellow legumes usually split peas but can be yellow lentils. Masala as we have discussed means spice. Masala Dal is a side dish, usually red and can be extremely spicy but does not have to be.

 Do not under any circumstances try Khakhra, addictive doesn't come close to describing the experience. Flour, spices and carom seeds, rolled or pounded flatter than a nacho, then lightly fried in sunflower oil. This is one of the most interesting snack foods, that I have encountered. You can't eat just one (or two or four).

A Tilgud, mistakenly called Tilgul as a result of their use in a religious festival is a sweet nearly exactly the same as sesame snaps but with a bit of cinnamon and ginger and jaggery instead of honey. You give this sweet and say "Tilgul kha aani Ghod Ghod bola"; have this sweet and speak sweet words as sweet as this Tilgul. So the original name Tilgud; Til = sesame and Gud = Jaggery (sugar) became Tilgul.

Palak Paneer, like many Indian dishes, cannot be judged on looks alone. It looks like prison food (not even good prison food) but the taste is quite mellow and slightly nutty. Palak is spinach and Paneer is a dairy product that is very akin to Tofu.  The spinach is spiced, cooked and pureed and the paneer is chopped and lightly sauteed before being added. Although served as a main dish, this could be a side or even a soup because the consistency is on par with a squash soup.

Another Dal recipe, Masoor Dal, is made with the Masoor Lentil (a dark brown lentil with orange inside). The spices that flavour this Dal reminded me of the base for a Mexican chili before adding meat or tomato (if that is your preference). This can be served over rice as a main dish or as is with a meat dish. Some fun facts about the lentil for those of you trying to reduce meat consumption.  30% of their calories come from protein and are a very inexpensive source of two essential amino acids isoleucine and lysine. The starch from the lentil is 65% Resistant Starch (RS1) also known as Dietary Fiber, 30% is Slowly Digested Starch (SDS) of great value to Diabetics and only 5% is Readily Digested Starch (RDS). One more fun fact, Canada is the largest Exporter of Lentils.
 

Lassi is a sweetened yoghurt drink that is very popular here, it can be fruit flavoured such as pineapple or mango or have added spices such as cinnamon or ginger. Even though it is sweetened, it still has a slightly sour taste because the yoghurt base is more sour here than you would find in NA.

Is that flashlight loaded?

We Are Family

Relationships are complicated the World over, be they familial, marital, casual, business. In India, all relationships are further complicated by family. Imagine for a moment that your mother came to visit over the Christmas holidays just past and she is still there and then she bought a new mattress and then she sold her suitcases <shiver>. In many cases in India, a child never leaves the familial home, she is married (usually arranged) then her husband moves in, then they have children, then the children are married and do not leave bringing in their spouses, then they have children. There is no Old Age Security Fund so Parents ultimately become dependent on their children for financial support.

Hard to imagine? In NA, no matter what your relationship with your parents or siblings or children is, no matter how much you love them or don't, it is always known that at some point you will be away from them. Whether it is because you are going off to school or you are done school and are going off to your first job or you are getting married. Sooner or later the fledglings will leave the nest. NA parents begin preparing their children for this eventuality at an early age. I never thought about this till I was here but I have unconsciously been preparing my children to be out from under my shadow by around the age of 18, not because I want them gone, I have just always assumed it and acted accordingly, making sure I got as many life lessons in as possible in anticipation of them moving on to new challenges. This type of preparation does not happen in India, there is always the basic assumption that the child will always live with them.

Most marriages are still arranged but the method af arrangement has changed substantially. A women of marrying age (about 26) goes through resumes of possible suitors then interviews them, usually over the phone. If the Applicant makes it to the second interview successfully, a personal interview may be arranged. He is now a Candidate, if he passes the personal interview phase, the resume is presented to the parents who begin the negotiations with the Candidate's parents and they try to arrange an amicable figure for transfer of assets. If they are able to come to an agreement, he (the Hiree now) and she (the Hirer) are unlikely to see each other again until the Wedding which is usually in approximately three to six months.

There are two other types of marriages here; Love, and Love Cum Arranged. Love is just what it sounds like, two people meet, fall in love and get married (usually against their parents wishes, just like in NA). Growing in popularity is the Love Cum Arranged. Two people meet, fall in love, then bring in the negotiators (I mean parents) to arrange the transfer of assets (I mean the rest of the marriage). Conversations about marriage are quite different here. In NA, you might ask "How did you meet?". In India, a couple will tell you what kind of marriage they have or are having and single people will tell you what type they are going to have. I have heard single women say they want an arranged marriage so that if they get a bad choice, they can blame their parents.

Far less the shrinking violets they would like you to believe they are, women in India wield far more power than they would like known. During their dating years (which last until their late 20's) a woman  can confidently go out with anyone she wishes without ever making any commitments and being able to say goodnight without even a kiss at the door. They need only work until the get married since their future husbands will 'insist' that they stay home post marriage. A very small number of women are choosing to stay in their careers but this is still the exception, not yet a groundswell. Once becoming a stay-at-home wife, she will then hire a maid to do the house cleaning and cooking since no respectable woman would do these housely chores. I am sure there are many women in NA right now who would like to be as 'oppressed' as Indian women are right now.

I cannot say enough about the food.

Honesty is Such a Lonely Word

The newspaper abounds with reports of corruption, in fact, I do not think they would have enough news to print each day if they were not reporting on corruption. Politicians, police, businessmen, bankers all caught bribing someone or being bribed or skimming or taking kickbacks or emptying bank accounts. Corruption touches everyone's lives here because every dollar pocketed by an official is one less dollar that can be spent on food for the poor or on infrastructure to grow the economy. One estimate suggests the lost opportunity caused by corruption in terms of investment, growth and jobs for India is over US$50 billion a year. According to a report by KPMG, "high-level corruption and scams are now threatening to derail the country's credibility and economy"

Am I claiming that corruption does not exist in NA, absolutely not, but you would need to ask a lot of people in NA before you found one who either offered or was required to bribe. In my own little study leading up to this post, I could not find anyone who had not paid a bribe to one official or another. A recent study estimated that 60% of Indians had paid a bribe (40% to a government official). I speculate that the 40% that did not pay a bribe were probably too poor and simply had to go without. Speaking of the poor, the most recent estimate is that of the funds the government has set aside for the poor, only 15% reaches them. Please refer to my previous post on the Poor and remind yourself this is at least 70% of the population. The most simple daily-routine  administrative tasks cannot be performed without a bribe to the civil servant in charge of the paperwork. Indians accept it as a way of life. Corruption is not just systemic in India, it is endemic.

Corruption can kill people too. Reported in The Times of India, recently, 68% of the milk produced is unsafe, tainted at many sources. A tanker truck leaves the dairy farm for the producer, en route some of the milk is siphoned off and replaced with unsafe water. Once the milk is put into bags and shipped again, someone is drawing it out with syringes and replacing it with water again. Empty water bottles are collected and refilled with water to be resold to unsuspecting consumers, especially tourists.

Train officials are paid their bribes based on seniority. The Post Office is completely non-functional. Locals will tell you to NOT use the in-country Postal Service and that only Fee-Based companies such as Fedex and UPS will get your packages where they need to go. I am able to confirm this since I asked my wife to mail me a small care package of Splenda which after two months has yet to arrive. I was with my hosts recently when we were pulled over for a seatbelt violation. They were surprised when the policeman gave them a receipt for the 100rp (1.71Cdn) fine since they had expected him to pocket it. I am bothered when someone is surprised to find an honest policeman.

As usual, I am just reporting the news and my readers know I try to find the humour in every situation. Having never paid nor even been solicited for a bribe, I couldn't find anything funny about this. So if it is not funny then it must be sad. However, you will have to decide which is sadder; the person asking for the bribe or the person willing to give it unquestioningly.

I have a few more Articles which are in the Works but I am interested in where my Readers interests lie. Is there some facet of India Life which I have not explored which you would like to hear about. Let me know.

How About Some Sweets For My Sweetie?

I always talk about the spiciness of Indian Food but I haven't spoken much of the Indian Love for Sweets. Indians love sweets. That was a short post! Ok, just to illustrate my point, back home, I would keep a candy dish on my desk for anyone that wanted one, a small dish of candy (half of a 200g bag) $1Cdn (56Rp) would last a week in an office of about 200. Here, in an office of similar size, I buy a 500g bag of candy, 55Rp ($1Cdn), and it lasts three days. (I did the math for you, it is ten times as much.) Back home if I offer candy, the first response is, "No, Thank You.". Here, when I offer candy the response is, "Can I have two?".

Indian sweets are extremely sweet. So sweet that I can rarely eat more than a nibble before I am "sweeted out". I am always being offered some sort of sweet, so I have tried many things to date. One of the first treats I tried was Rasgullah. It is a Dairy based dessert, very sweet. It is basically cream, flour and sugar formed into a ball, boiled then soaked in sweetened coconut milk, serving size is a sphere with the diameter of a Silver Dollar (a Loonie to the Canucks), I can eat a half of one.

Soan papdi is butter, flour and sugar boiled then spread like a pie crust, to about one inch thickness, it dries flaky and tastes like compressed spun sugar (cotton candy squeezed into a ball) Serving size is a one inch cube, I can eat maybe a third. Gulab Jamb is cream, flour and sugar (are you seeing a trend) and spices, rolled into one inch balls, then deep fried and soaked in sugar syrup. I can eat a half of one.



Jangri is besan, butter and sugar mixed and rolled into tubes a tied up like a pretzel before deep frying, then soaked in sugar syrup. Serving size is about the size of your palm, I can eat less than a 1/4 of one. Pedas are a very dense mixture of dairy products, sugar, besan, saffron and other spices. It is served in a small 'puck' form about one and a half inches across, 1/2 inch thick, I can take a nibble off the side of one, so maybe one quarter or less. Sweetness is less of an issue than the overpowering taste of the saffron of which they use a lot. Chikki is sugar taffy similar to hard caramel taffy or what use would use to make the candy part of peanut brittle. Kheer, I have already told you about before knowing the name of it, it is rice cooed until it is completely broken down, flour, heavy cream and sugar with a fruit choice, almost custard thick (do not think this is just rice pudding). I cannot say enough about this dessert and I can finish a whole bowl. I will regret it later because it is so heavy but a little pain for a yummy gain.

If you are looking for the familiar; Cake is still Cake but slightly different and possibly better. Most cakes are 'three milk' style, probably the Spanish influence (tres leche) so they are very moist. If you want a Chocolate Bar, you can usually find the Major Brand Names, Snickers, Bounty, Mars, Kit Kat, etc. They come in two sizes, 25g for 15Rp (.27Cdn) and 54g (standard size in NA) for 30Rp (.54Cdn). There are local Brand names, that are knock-offs of the Major Brands at a small savings. Indians, however, prefer Dark Chocolate to Milk Chocolate. Also, they call everything 'Chocolate'; candy and chocolate combined, so if they ask for Chocolate, it is equally as likely they are asking for candy. You will not, however, find Pie. They seem to have never heard of Pie which surprises me because I had thought that Fruit Pies were found in British Cooking.

This is by no means a complete list of the sweets available here. So, if you have a sweet tooth, Indian sweets will most definitely satisfy and very quickly without having to eat a lot. For me, this has contributed to me needing to put a third hole in my belt, yay me!

Honesty is such a lonely word.