Honesty is Such a Lonely Word

The newspaper abounds with reports of corruption, in fact, I do not think they would have enough news to print each day if they were not reporting on corruption. Politicians, police, businessmen, bankers all caught bribing someone or being bribed or skimming or taking kickbacks or emptying bank accounts. Corruption touches everyone's lives here because every dollar pocketed by an official is one less dollar that can be spent on food for the poor or on infrastructure to grow the economy. One estimate suggests the lost opportunity caused by corruption in terms of investment, growth and jobs for India is over US$50 billion a year. According to a report by KPMG, "high-level corruption and scams are now threatening to derail the country's credibility and economy"

Am I claiming that corruption does not exist in NA, absolutely not, but you would need to ask a lot of people in NA before you found one who either offered or was required to bribe. In my own little study leading up to this post, I could not find anyone who had not paid a bribe to one official or another. A recent study estimated that 60% of Indians had paid a bribe (40% to a government official). I speculate that the 40% that did not pay a bribe were probably too poor and simply had to go without. Speaking of the poor, the most recent estimate is that of the funds the government has set aside for the poor, only 15% reaches them. Please refer to my previous post on the Poor and remind yourself this is at least 70% of the population. The most simple daily-routine  administrative tasks cannot be performed without a bribe to the civil servant in charge of the paperwork. Indians accept it as a way of life. Corruption is not just systemic in India, it is endemic.

Corruption can kill people too. Reported in The Times of India, recently, 68% of the milk produced is unsafe, tainted at many sources. A tanker truck leaves the dairy farm for the producer, en route some of the milk is siphoned off and replaced with unsafe water. Once the milk is put into bags and shipped again, someone is drawing it out with syringes and replacing it with water again. Empty water bottles are collected and refilled with water to be resold to unsuspecting consumers, especially tourists.

Train officials are paid their bribes based on seniority. The Post Office is completely non-functional. Locals will tell you to NOT use the in-country Postal Service and that only Fee-Based companies such as Fedex and UPS will get your packages where they need to go. I am able to confirm this since I asked my wife to mail me a small care package of Splenda which after two months has yet to arrive. I was with my hosts recently when we were pulled over for a seatbelt violation. They were surprised when the policeman gave them a receipt for the 100rp (1.71Cdn) fine since they had expected him to pocket it. I am bothered when someone is surprised to find an honest policeman.

As usual, I am just reporting the news and my readers know I try to find the humour in every situation. Having never paid nor even been solicited for a bribe, I couldn't find anything funny about this. So if it is not funny then it must be sad. However, you will have to decide which is sadder; the person asking for the bribe or the person willing to give it unquestioningly.

I have a few more Articles which are in the Works but I am interested in where my Readers interests lie. Is there some facet of India Life which I have not explored which you would like to hear about. Let me know.

How About Some Sweets For My Sweetie?

I always talk about the spiciness of Indian Food but I haven't spoken much of the Indian Love for Sweets. Indians love sweets. That was a short post! Ok, just to illustrate my point, back home, I would keep a candy dish on my desk for anyone that wanted one, a small dish of candy (half of a 200g bag) $1Cdn (56Rp) would last a week in an office of about 200. Here, in an office of similar size, I buy a 500g bag of candy, 55Rp ($1Cdn), and it lasts three days. (I did the math for you, it is ten times as much.) Back home if I offer candy, the first response is, "No, Thank You.". Here, when I offer candy the response is, "Can I have two?".

Indian sweets are extremely sweet. So sweet that I can rarely eat more than a nibble before I am "sweeted out". I am always being offered some sort of sweet, so I have tried many things to date. One of the first treats I tried was Rasgullah. It is a Dairy based dessert, very sweet. It is basically cream, flour and sugar formed into a ball, boiled then soaked in sweetened coconut milk, serving size is a sphere with the diameter of a Silver Dollar (a Loonie to the Canucks), I can eat a half of one.

Soan papdi is butter, flour and sugar boiled then spread like a pie crust, to about one inch thickness, it dries flaky and tastes like compressed spun sugar (cotton candy squeezed into a ball) Serving size is a one inch cube, I can eat maybe a third. Gulab Jamb is cream, flour and sugar (are you seeing a trend) and spices, rolled into one inch balls, then deep fried and soaked in sugar syrup. I can eat a half of one.



Jangri is besan, butter and sugar mixed and rolled into tubes a tied up like a pretzel before deep frying, then soaked in sugar syrup. Serving size is about the size of your palm, I can eat less than a 1/4 of one. Pedas are a very dense mixture of dairy products, sugar, besan, saffron and other spices. It is served in a small 'puck' form about one and a half inches across, 1/2 inch thick, I can take a nibble off the side of one, so maybe one quarter or less. Sweetness is less of an issue than the overpowering taste of the saffron of which they use a lot. Chikki is sugar taffy similar to hard caramel taffy or what use would use to make the candy part of peanut brittle. Kheer, I have already told you about before knowing the name of it, it is rice cooed until it is completely broken down, flour, heavy cream and sugar with a fruit choice, almost custard thick (do not think this is just rice pudding). I cannot say enough about this dessert and I can finish a whole bowl. I will regret it later because it is so heavy but a little pain for a yummy gain.

If you are looking for the familiar; Cake is still Cake but slightly different and possibly better. Most cakes are 'three milk' style, probably the Spanish influence (tres leche) so they are very moist. If you want a Chocolate Bar, you can usually find the Major Brand Names, Snickers, Bounty, Mars, Kit Kat, etc. They come in two sizes, 25g for 15Rp (.27Cdn) and 54g (standard size in NA) for 30Rp (.54Cdn). There are local Brand names, that are knock-offs of the Major Brands at a small savings. Indians, however, prefer Dark Chocolate to Milk Chocolate. Also, they call everything 'Chocolate'; candy and chocolate combined, so if they ask for Chocolate, it is equally as likely they are asking for candy. You will not, however, find Pie. They seem to have never heard of Pie which surprises me because I had thought that Fruit Pies were found in British Cooking.

This is by no means a complete list of the sweets available here. So, if you have a sweet tooth, Indian sweets will most definitely satisfy and very quickly without having to eat a lot. For me, this has contributed to me needing to put a third hole in my belt, yay me!

Honesty is such a lonely word.

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

Giving to the needy in India will not give you the warm feeling for which you are hoping because no matter what or how much you give, a beggar in India will ask for more, they will keep begging to the point where you might regret your original offering. Begging in India is a family affair, parents teach their children how to beg. I have been approached by children as young as three years old with the traditional "I am hungry" gesture which is the reach out their hand, then put their fingers to their mouth.

Back home, my main or even my only charitable giving is Food Banks. I give money to school children going Door to Door selling chocolate or to the Scouts or Girl Guides but mostly I focus on feeding people. I simply believe that everyone deserves to eat and I follow it up at any opportunity. I like grocery shopping but sometimes overbuy so I box up food from our overstuffed larder and drop it at the Food Bank. I keep extra canned goods in the cupboard especially for the children to take for Food Drives. If I am approached on the street for money for food, I will usually give them food that I might be carrying or I walk them into the closest fast food place and buy them a burger or a bagel. Sometimes, I do not get the gratitude I would expect but at least they have to eat what I buy them and I know the money is properly spent.

 I am using a similar strategy here, I purchase local goods, usually to try them out, and discover I do not generally like them. For example, a Chocolate Chip Cookie in NA looks and tastes about the same on the West Coast as the East Coast as the Midwest. A Chocolate Chip Cookie in India will neither look like nor taste like your expectation. This is true for almost everything even Brand Names like Oreo's. So I usually have a stockpile of snacks that I did not like which I carry with me when I am in a larger center. When approached, I offer food. One time I had bought these "cream horns" but they were a disappointment so when I was asked for some money by a mother and child, I gave the child the cream horns. He was thrilled, he sat down and started eating them and every time he looked my way he gave me a 'white frosted' thumbs up. His mother, however, was relentless. I gave her a package of crackers but this was still not enough, she would not leave me alone and finally my hosts had to shoo her away.

This type of behaviour has become typical. Someone asks for money, I give food, they take the food and ask for more (probably still want money), I try to be polite but sooner or later one of my hosts will have to shoo the beggars away. I rarely give money but when I do, it will be in a secluded area so that I am not seen giving money. My hosts do not think I should give anything, even food, but this is too hard-hearted for me. Essentially everyone says to not give to beggars which makes me wonder how this can be a successful method to earn money and it can't be just Westerners giving money because there are not enough of us to support the number of beggars.

My hosts will argue that beggars could be working if they wanted to be but I am not so sure. From what I have seen it is difficult to find a steady job in India and nearly impossible to find a good job without being well-educated and education costs money starting at Junior Kindergarten. There are supposed to be funds for children to go to school up to 7th standard (Grade 7) but it is clear that many children of the poor are not being educated. Even if you can get educated to 7th standard, (12 years old) it is not enough to get a good job. While I believe that is possible that beggars are choosing to not work, I am not prepared to make that judgement call on the spot.

The adage that "Charity begins at home" is meant to suggest that one should be generous to one's family before being generous to others. I like to think that "Charity begins at home" should mean that if I am a charitable person, this will be passed on to my children. I hope I am right.

How about some sweets for my Sweetie?

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Shopping in India can be just as uninteresting as it is in NA if you want it to be. Maybe there are too many things that are different so you may long for the sameness that a Mall can bring you. A Mall in India looks like a Mall in NA, the only difference that I notice is that there are a lot more employees per store, a lot more. In a department style store, every aisle has a permanent presence, so as long as you can make yourself understood, you will find what you are looking for (unless it is sugar free). A Mall can make you forget you are in a foreign land for a period of time (mostly).

Store bought goods, specifically packaged goods must have a price on them stamped by the manufacturer, like an MSRP (Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price), this is by law to reduce dishonesty at the consumer level. A store can sell for less than that price but not for more. However, the bulk of spending in India occurs outside the store enviroment at the market level. Legitimate vendors require permits and will be found at the same spot time after time but there is an equal amount of illegitimate vendors who set up nearby to the legitimate sites to syphon off as much business as possible. These vendors risk seizure of their entire inventory but the rampant corruption that exists in Indian society means that few, if any, vendors are truly at risk.

Buying at at market means bargaining (haggling). As a Sales Agent, I have been negotiating most of my adult life, whether using my skills to get a better deal for my company or when I am out and about to make sure I am getting the best deal from vendors. By percentage, however, most NA's pay the price they see with only a few exceptions; cars, homes and yard sales. Funnily, however, I do not negotiate at Yard Sales. When I visit a Yard Sale, there is nothing that I need so badly that I need it at a lower price. When I have a Yard Sale of my own to sell all the stuff I bought at Yard Sales, I have priced it low enough that there should be no need to negotiate. When offered a lower price, I look at them and say "Really? A dollar is too much?" which is usually enough to quell any further negotiating, so I guess I am negotiating after all.

In India, I could pay full price and I am still getting a terrific deal. I bought a pair of shoes, which I doubt I could find for under $50 in NA. The Vendor's opening price was 350rp (5.95Cdn), I let my hosts talk him down to 200rp (3.40Cdn).  Another purchase was a chunri (shawl), the opening price was 250rp (4.28Cdn) and the final price was 100rp (1.71Cdn). For the most part, I let my hosts do the negotiating,  It helps to keep things friendly.  I am a little too harsh in my negotiation style, more of a take it or leave it type. Since there is nothing I actually need, anything I am buying is either a gift for someone else or as a tchotchke destined to be dusted endlessly (then sold at a Yard Sale). So my desire to buy at all is low thus I prefer to walk away.

The other reason that I let my hosts negotiate is that as a white, my opening price will be higher, probably about four times actual price, so negotiating to the lowest price is more arduous. My hosts will sometimes say, 'you could pay less for that' but at some point paying a lower price does not benefit me more but paying a little more will benefit the Vendor. I bought a Guide Book, the opening price was 350rp (6.08Cdn) which I purchased when he negotiated himself down to 100rp (1.71Cdn). What is the real value to me in negotiating further. What would I do with the 20 or 30 more cents that I could wring out of this guy versus what could he do with that same money.

Good or bad negotiator, prices here are terrifically low. If you are visiting, I would pack about half what you intend to pack and buy the rest here, you will not be disappointed. Colourful choices, excellent prices, the thrill of haggling, what more could you want? (This message is brought to you by Tourism India.)

Beggars can't be choosers.

I Can't Eat Another Bite!

I have had to put a second hole in my belt since first coming to India and I am getting close to giving up on trying to eat Indian Food. It has been three months now and I am not a whole lot wiser for the experience. If you are the sort that likes to eat ridiculously hot spiced food, book your flight now. Just to be clear, when I describe Indian Food and I say 'Spicy' I mean Hot Spiced.  For my part, I enjoy a little spice to flavour food. Flavour it, not cover up the taste of the food or replace the taste of the food with spice, just flavour it. For all intents and purposes, it doesn't matter what the base is, whether it is chicken or potato or rice or a pulse. It tastes the same because of the amount of spice placed on it. The types of spices used is going to vary. Masala is the term used to describe a melange of spices, not always the same mix but it corresponds to what we would call curry. The only problem for me is that the mixture is pulled exclusively from the hot end of the spectrum, capiscum (hot peppers), ginger, paprika, cayenne, onions and garlic.

I am very tired of the lack of choices that this creates for me. Pizza, McDonald's, Subway and a few dishes that the cook at the Pantry at my work takes pity on me and makes with as little spice as his training allows. If he is not working, I settle for a fruit plate, which (and don't laugh) I have to remind the guy to not sprinkle with cayenne powder. Whereas in NA, I probably would not eat the same dish once in a fortnight (two weeks to the non-anglophiles). I must sound like a wimp but this food is untenable. In Canada, I eat what I think are very spicy foods; Szechuan, Tex Mex, Mexican, Samosas, etc. but I mix hots with sweets; plum sauces, chutneys, barbeque sauce, cherry sauce, etc. Indians eat spicy food with even spicier toppings on the side. If you are coming to Indian and want to eat Indian, here is what you should do, before you come, coat your tongue with Wasabi, every day at each meal, even breakfast, then eat and then you may be prepared.

I had a Shrimp Alfredo, 330 rp (5.73Cdn), at a restaurant that although does not directly cater to Westerners (since there are not enough of us to be catered to) is Western Style with Western motif and Western dishes. Now, an Alfredo sauce is butter, flour, milk or cream, parmesan cheese, probably onion and garlic then maybe salt and pepper to taste. If this is what you are expecting in India, you will not be getting it. They WILL spice it up for you even if you ask them to not. I assume they believe they know better or they just can't help themselves or they must assume they heard wrong, "No spice, nah, he must have said mo' spice".

I have tried a few more things since I last reported but something confuses me. When someone gives me tastes of food from home or brings me food from their home kitchen, it is NOT spicy. More properly, it is spicy like a Tex-Mex dish is spicy maybe less. I have had home-made Moong Daal Khichdi which is basically dal and rice made together creating a very densely textured side dish and (although i do not normally recommend this) if you add a little ketchup to the top, because of the denseness, it has a flavour reminiscent of meatloaf (or else, I have simply forgot what meatloaf tastes like).

I have also had home-made dish that is called Brinjal but Brinjal actually just means eggplant so it is how you make the dish that is most important. I have seen it with cabbage, and/or carrots, and/or potatoes. I Liked it best with potatoes but i think the key is to sautee the eggplant with onions until brown which carmelizes it then don't overspice and it will have a slightly sweet taste. Although not one of the prettier dishes on the menu, I will suggest you try it as soon as possible, you will not be disappointed.

At a recent outing to one of my hosts home I was served a delicious chicken dish which I will definitely be making when I get home. This is not apparently a traditional Indian dish, more of a Western dish served with an Indian spin. There was no Indian name so they just called it Chicken Cutlets but basically it is equal parts Minced Chicken and Cooked Diced Potatoes, spiced with Cumin (i think you could use whatever kind of spice suits your palette), pressed into patties then sauteed (or barbequed? hmmm). By adding the potato, you are stretching the meat without seriously changing the flavour so it is great for families like mine who are trying to reduce the meat component of their diet. You could serve it with whatever side you might like (sweet and sour BBQ?) but they served it with a peppery Mayonnaise. (Oh no, I am getting hungry!)

So I can very much recommend these dishes but you will have to eat them at people's homes and not in restaurants, so make friends.

How much is that doggie in the window?

How Many Indians Can You Stand on the Head of a Pin?

(Sub-titled - Where Are You Keeping Them All?)

The population of India at 1.2B is second only to China at 1.35B with the US in distance third at 317M, Japan stands in 10th with 127M and Canada is sitting a comfortable 37th at 35M. To me, population is more like a game of Golf than a Horse Race, the lower the number the better. Population is not the whole story though, I believe population DENSITY is a more important measure. India comes in at 31st with 390 people per square kilometer, Japan is 39th with 337p/km2, China is 83rd with 141p/km2, the USA is 179th with 35p/km2, and Canada eagle putts for the win in 228th position with 3.5p/km2. Just so you don't need to look it up, the number one country is Macao at over 20,000p/km2 (ouch!) and bringing up the rear is Greenland 243rd at .3p/km2 (probably the only time that 'bringing up the rear' is a compliment).

Why do I think population density is more important than gross population, simple! where are you going to keep all your people if you do not have the space for them. Manhattan (also over 20,000 p/km2) has a recognizable solution, build upwards, use sky space and stack people on top of one another. Japan uses sky space but they also will use less space or multi-use space. Most Indians (those who live indoors) live in multi-dwelling units but not typically sky-scrapers, six to eight floors is typical which seems low for the density but with the number of power outages, I would not want to live on a particularly high floor. They also learn to manage with less space. A 1BHK (one bedroom, hall, kitchen) measures about 600sq feet will house a small family of three to four for the lower middle class, mom and dad in the bedroom, kids in the hall (living room). For the children to get their own (shared) room, both parents are probably working and would be middle middle class living in a 2BHK of 800 to 900 square feet.

Having never lived in a Metropolitan Area, I may not have the proper perspective but when I was single, I usually preferred to live alone, so I would live in a 1 bedroom which measured about 525 square feet. When I was married, we moved into a large 1 bedroom at about 900 square feet. After our first child we had a two bedroom house of about 1200 square feet on a 1/4 acre and now with two children we are in 1800 square feet with three bedrooms on about a third of an acre. We are finding this a little small and I am in the process of designing my next home at between 2200 and 2400 square feet on 80 acres.
Whenever possible a NA will move outwards which I am not suggesting is better. Outside the city is where the corn is growing and if you put a house there, then where will you plant the corn. I have assuaged my own conscience by learning to grow vegetables and using as much space as possible to do that. When I move next to a much larger property, I will grow vegetables that other people can eat, thus further lessening my guilt of living in a comparatively large home.

I asked one of my hosts why with two incomes they would not move outside the city onto a plot of land. He told me land is very expensive and although he could not give me an exact price, he said that actual land cannot be bought by the average family. Farmland, fortunately, is estated so it cannot be sold to be developed. I suppose that is not so good for the farmer but it benefits everyone else so I wish we had a similar law here in Canada.

Population density has other benefits, a municipality can afford infrastructure because it can spread costs over a larger group of people. New York and Toronto have Subways which is not affordable to a smaller city. Mumbai (and most Indian cities use rail to move people around. The cost of roadways is lower for a Metro Area because there are more people per linear mile than in a smaller 'lower' city. If 300 people live in an apartment building they use up 1 block of city space but put the same 300 people into homes at 2 people per home, 1/4 acre per lot, it takes up about 15 blocks of city space.

Usually, I just present the facts and compare and contrast the the world of the West and the World of the East but today, I am going to offer an opinion. Neither one of us is getting it right. NA's continue to spread out using up arable land and increasing the cost of services, while Indians continue to increase density putting pressure on service providing. I must say I like the Cuban model and I recommend my readers look into it but if you have suggestions, I would very much like to look at them. Land management is going to be, if it is not already, the key to the future.

No thank you, I couldn't eat another bite!

Pardon Me?

Despite the connections to England and the Commonwealth, English is a very lightly used language. Even in the office in which I work which is exclusively designed to assist the American customer base, English is only spoken when interacting with customers. There are signs every three feet reminding people that this is an English Only Area but even management does not abide by these strictures. I commented to my manager that maybe Coaches and Trainers should be speaking to Agents in English to continually practice English skills and he said "Definitely, it is your job to make them speak English." then turned to another person and started speaking Hindi.

Even in the Service Industry, English speakers are hard to find. Taxi drivers, Rickshaw Drivers, Restaurant Workers, Hoteliers and Shopkeepers rarely speak English. I estimate it is less than one in five people in these job types that speak any English. At my hotel, I am pretty confident that all of the support staff, all of the security staff and all of the restaurant staff have less than rudimentary English skills. Even the Desk Clerks cannot put together full sentences "Room clean?" (Do I want my room cleaned") "Holiday today?" (Am I not going to work today?). The Manager speaks fairly good English so I usually have to work through him but when he is not there, I must rely on Hinglish (my slowly growing vocabulary in Hindi and some simple English words and liberal use of Brand Names) and a lot of gesturing and pointing.


Pani (pah nee) is water, eka (ekg) is one or a (the article), do (doh) is two, tina (ty nah) is three, cara (ka rah) is four and pamca (pon che) is five so if you do not need to order more than five bottles of water, you should be able to book your trip now. If you need to know how much that water will cost, try kitne (keyt na). If you don't want water then order doodh (dude) or milk. Strangely, however, mixing in Hindi words doesn't always help because the Hindi listeners are still thinking you are speaking English. Ordering at my pantry is worthy of a Laurel and Hardy sketch comedy. I say milk, and they reach into the fridge and grab a juice, so I say doodh and I get a Mountain Dew. More pointing and several more misguesses later, there are about five things on the counter, fortunately at least one of them is a milk so I just buy them all, it's easier than explaining, costs less than the price of one bottle of pop in NA and besides, i need to try different things while I am here.

If you see English spelt words or name places, the pronunciation is not always obvious. 'Th' is not the same as in the or think, it is more like 'take' or 'time', and an 'e' at the end of a word is not usually silent like in 'tune' or 'some' but is likely pronounced with a hard 'a' sound. So, for example, the city of Thane which may seem obvious is pronounced tah nay.  'V' and 'W' are interchangeable but always pronounced with a 'wuh' sound, Vashi (wash ee) and Divali (Dee wah lee). Just like English though, the rules are not constant, 'via' is pronounced 'why a' but Punvale which you should now think is 'poon wah lay' is just 'puhn vayl'.

Reread my post entitled "Could You Repeat..." and the post on "Just Nod If..." and keep this in the forefront of your mind when speaking English in India. An Indian will not let you know they do not understand English. Before you get into the Rickshaw or Taxi or whatever, be absolutely certain he knows where you want to go and how much it will cost. If they do not understand the most likely response is none at all. No head movement is likely that they do not understand but do not want you to know it either.

How many Indians can you stand on the head of a pin?