Hey Buddy, Stay In Your Own Lane!

I know that an Indian thinks it is normal that a pedestrian crossing the road WILL BE honked at by several drivers; that a motorcyclist traveling down a highway WILL BE honked at by another vehicle to move aside; that on a three lane road with all three 3 lanes full, a fourth vehicle  trying to pass by straddling the lanes is reasonable and that the shoulder of the road is just another lane. These and many other realities are unavoidable on an Indian roadway. There are few stop signs, even fewer stop lights, and I have yet to see a posted speed limit.

I have NEVER been in a vehicle driven by ANYONE while in India where horn-honking was not involved while I am not even sure where the horn-honking button in my car back home is located. I have chosen to NOT drive while in India for the simple fact that I am too respectful and I cannot act like a typical Indian Driver which would actually cause more problems. The entire system is built on the suppression of Ego. Indians are able to interact without getting upset at these issues because they are able to suppress their Ego response, remove it from the situation. One of my Hosts explained their behaviour by saying "Indians are smart, they don't get mad about things that they can't do anything about." I would say this though, "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it". Okay, I didn't say it, Kay said it to Jay but I agree. Take this same behaviour and drop it into an area that has a similarly large population per square foot like New York City or Mexico City or Santiago where the people do not have the same ability to suppress their ego and this would be a recipe for disaster.

An Indian believes that the Wild West approach to the activities on the road is perfectly reasonable and although there are rules to driving on Indian Roads, there is little if any enforcement. Indians revel in the freedom that this appears to provide, they believe that they are managing their behaviour better than it would be managed if there were a police presence on their streets. With only 76 police persons for every 100,000 people, manpower is spread so thin that drivers are left to self-regulate.





Self regulation however has led to traffic deaths of 19 deaths per 100,000 people which puts it amongst the highest in the world almost double that of the US at 10 deaths per 100,000 people, triple that of Canada which has 6 deaths per 100,000 people and six times that of England which is amongst the lowest in the World at less than 3 deaths per 100,000 people. When you compare population size, however, then the real story is revealed, of the 12 million people killed on the roads worldwide over 140,000 or 12% of those people are killed in India. This still doesn't tell the whole story because compared to the 797 vehicles per 1,000 people in the US, there are only 18 vehicles per 1,000 people in India.  So if we recalculate the numbers on a vehicle basis, 33,000 people are killed with 260 million vehicles on the road in the US compared to 140,000 killed with 21 million vehicles (more than 10 times fewer vehicles). Let's consider one more calculation, if the US fatality rate per vehicle was the same as India then 1.7 million people would die on the roads in the US each year at which point the US would be able to achieve 0% population growth.

So I would have to ask my Indian hosts to reconsider whether their current situation should continue or whether maybe just a little more policing would be beneficial. For myself, the next time I am pulled over for a traffic infraction back in NA, I will thank the police officer for the safety he has brought to our roads.

Happy Trails To You

It is nearly impossible to move around in India on your own. There are so many challenges that co-occur that make moving about very difficult. If you are here for a short time, plan to overpay for everything. The longer you are here, the more cost conscious you can become but it will still be likely that you will overpay. My Scottish/Irish heritage makes this very difficult for me. If I know how much something should cost, it is very bothersome for me to be willing to pay more but it is something that I have had to suppress to function here. Fortunately, even when I am forced to overpay, I am still paying well under a comparable price in NA.

There are many challenges to any form of travel here in India. Asking for directions is unlikely to work. I have suggested that English is still very lightly used despite a big push to Anglicize. English is a required course in the non-public schools but not taught in the public schools which is approximately 60% of the school population. For those who are taught English, unless it is used, it will be lost. I studied 12 years of French until the age of 17. At best, I can understand the gist of a conversation in French, read in French, and speak short sentences but since I have not used this language, my fluency is gone. All street signs are in Hindi whose characters are quite unique so you will not be able to parse the words. Streets do not run in straight lines so getting from one place to another is exceedingly onerous.

This forces you to use Taxis and Rickshaws which even by local standards are the most dishonest (opportunistic?) group of vendors. Assuming you can make yourself understood and assuming the person knows where you want to go, you can still be turned down for the fare, they quite simply may not want to take you where you want to go. This particular trait has been both the most challenging to accept and the most frustrating to combat during my time here. The only way to get around this issue is to overpay. I have some strategies that I can recommend to help you to overpay the least possible.

I assume you are staying in a hotel. Have the hotel negotiate the rate to your destination. This will give you the baseline for your return trip. Rickshaws are slower and less comfortable but cheaper and more available. Accept that you will pay more for the return trip but it will be up to you to decide how much more is acceptable. Most rickshaws are not metered so agree on the price before getting into the rickshaw, also keep small bills so that you can give exact change. Many drivers will claim they do not have change. I have paid more than double for a return trip but having a set price with someone who knows where you are going is more valuable than an open price with someone who can drive you around in circles without your knowledge. In absolute dollars, your total cost is still very low. For example, from my hotel to the center of Airoli is 20rp (.35Cdn). To get back to the hotel, I am usually quoted 40rp (.70Cdn) but I have paid as much as 60rp (1.05Cdn). If someone is rude enough to quote 100rp to 150rp, I just walk away, why should I waste my time with patently dishonest people.

For longer trips you will probably use AC Taxis. Most of these are metered but there are gypsy cabs that do not have meters. Same rules should apply, get some type of estimate so that he cannot take you on Mr Toad's Wild Ride and use that total to decide what you are willing to pay for the return. To get from my hotel to the nearest Mall is approximately 20 minutes and the least I have paid is 250rp (5.50Cdn) but I have paid as much as 400rp (7.05Cdn) for the return. To put things in perspective, back home I live only eight blocks from my work but if it is raining or snowing, I will take a taxi. The five minute ride costs me $6Cdn (350rp), the longest taxi ride I ever took in Canada occurred when my Jimmy wouldn't start and it was 3pm with my children getting out of school at 330pm. I taxied from the top of the city to the school downtown, approximately 15 minutes and it cost $19Cdn (1077rp).
 
You can book a Taxi online for the trip there and a separate one for the trip back but I have not been able to make this system work yet. Another option would be to negotiate for the driver to wait, it would not save you any money but it would guarantee that you get back to your hotel. I have been stranded many times where no one would bring me back at any price usually because they do not know where the hotel is even when I give them the address. I get food delivered from either McDonald's or Domino's more than three times a week, I have been in the same hotel, same room for four months, and I still get calls asking for directions.

The train which is akin to the Subway in NA is going to be your last line of defence so if you will be here for a while, make sure you are familiar with the stations. The cost is low, I estimate it at 10rp (.17Cdn) round trip per station for 2nd Class which is usually jam-packed and 40rp (.68rp) per station for 1st Class, this is only an estimate but if you assume five minutes between stations, a fifteen minute journey may cost 30rp (.51) or less in 2nd class. Ride the bus at your own peril, they are vintage 1950 style with the same comfort level as a Cool Hand Luke prison bus. I am not sure even the Bus Drivers know the routes and just the other day I saw one on fire.

How Is The Weather Where You Are?

Here, 85 and boring, with scattered periods of dullness. Tomorrow, a distinct chance of Nothing New.

In NA, the weather is a topic you can discuss with anyone anytime. Many jokes abound about weather in NA. "The best thing about the weather here is it is always changing.", "Don't like the weather, wait a hour." In India, however, no one ever talks about the weather...ever. This is probably because nothing ever changes, it gets hot in the afternoon, cools a little in the evening, if it is not the rainy season, it doesn't rain, no matter how humid it gets, it still does not rain. It doesn't even get cloudy, just hazy. They do not even have a Weather Section in the Newspaper, the most I have ever seen is a Special Interest piece if something very unusual happens, like when it went to -4C in Delhi in December.My arrival coincided with the end of rainy season, maybe they talk about the weather during the rainy season and they are all talked out when it ends.

I am here for the "Not Summer" Season, it is still hot and humid during the day but it cools off nicely to the High 60's/Low 70's at night. For a local this is "bolt the windows closed" temperature but for me it is just right. Fortunately, I am scheduled to leave just as Summer begins so I will not need to experience the worst of the weather, although here they say that the Rainy Season is the worst season. Personally, I will take the rain over the heat but having never been in a Monsoon, I probably don't have the right  perspective. Mumbai is Central West India at approx 19 degrees latitude, near the north border of the Subtropics. So there is still a lot of country South of here which would be actual tropics and land to the North which will experience four Seasons and even snow.

I never thought about how much I would have talked about the weather on any given day until I never talked about it. Even if I bring up the weather as a conversation starter here, "Seems cooler today than yesterday." If I get a response at all, it never goes beyond "Oh, yes". Without the weather to talk about, my chances at small talk are gone. I find that I usually sit in silence when I am waiting for my driver, then while he is driving me to work, then in the elevator, then in the pantry at lunch, then on the drive back to the hotel. Not because of a lack of language but the inability to start a conversation without the weather as a transitional topic.

Try to think of how many conversations you have each day that in the Winter start with: "Boy, it is cold out there today!" or "Cold enough for you?". In the Spring, "Do you think it will rain?", "I wonder if it will be a short Spring". What about the Summer? "Man, will it ever cool down around here?" or "Hot enough for you?". Finally the Fall, "The leaves are beautiful this year." or "I wonder if we will get an early snow." Now try to imagine NOT starting a conversation with a reference to the weather. "How is it outside?", "Do I need a coat?", "I gotta go sweep off my car.", "Well, I better bundle up before I go." Try to go through one day without talking about the weather, I doubt if you can. I still talk about the weather every day, I just don't do it with Indians, I do it with my NA friends and my NA family.

Is That Flashlight Loaded?

Security is everywhere in India. Every door to every store, restaurant, hotel, commercial, industrial or multi-residential unit has 1 or more security guards manning it. Be prepared for a bag inspection, a pat down, an electronic wand at every entrance and most exits. Your vehicle will be inspected, trunk opened, bottom of the car scanned. At 76 police persons per 100k people, India has amongst the lowest per capita police presence. Canada comes in at 202/100K and the US at 256/100k while most of Europe at 300+/100K. As undertrained as they are, Indian Security Guards act at least as a visual presence or deterrence.

Many policemen are unarmed, especially during daylight hours, and most security guards are unarmed at all times which actually make me feel safer. The searchers are ostensibly looking for weapons and/or explosives but the cursory glance given will only find the largest or most obvious bomb. It would need to be 6 sticks of dynamite with a large alarm clock attached like Wile E. Coyote uses to try to blow the Roadrunner to smithereens or a shiny 44 Magnum like Dirty Harry carries to blow holes in concrete before these lightly trained guards could actually be effective.
 
There are some positive aspects to the use of Security Guards, one very obvious one is employment. India currently has approximately 5.5 million security guards employed by about 15,000 security companies. As an industry, this sector is now the country’s largest corporate taxpayer. It is also the fastest growing sector at 25% per annum. Another benefit may be (and I cannot be certain of this), there are rules about women who have to work after dark and whether they get a security guard to make sure they arrive home safely. I am sure the woman is still only as safe as the person protecting her but if there is a driver and a security guard then the likelihood that she will return home safely is significantly improved. As a husband, I take some solace in this.

At my own business, the Security Guards took away my camera on one visit but they let me bring my (picture capable) cell phone in day after day. The 60 year old unarmed guard at my hotel acts as more of a door opener than a security force. He sleeps leaning up against the door so that when someone opens the door he (theoretically) will wake up. I do not wish to wake anyone from a sound sleep so I have learned to open the door slowly so that he doesn't wake up, I think it is the polite thing to do. So like most places, security in India is really only there to make you feel safer not actually be safer.

How is the weather where you are?

I Can't Say Enough About The Food.

Since my posts on food are the most popular, I have put together another. A new and now very dear friend has made it her responsibility to see that I am eating properly, mostly as the result of her pride in India and things Indian mixed with a soupçon of pity for me and my plight to find edible dishes. She cooks most of these dishes herself or sometimes her tai (maid) makes them and she has pulled back heavily on the spices to better suit my palate. Here is a sampling of those new dishes.

Potato bhaji, bhaji means 'with vegetables' so potato bhaji is just diced potatoes cooked slow with peppers, onions, carrots maybe, spiced and served with chapati, this is quite similar to corned beef hash without the corned beef. You should tear the chapati into small pieces and use it to pick up the potato mixture before eating. For Cabbage bhaji, you would substitute the potato for shredded cabbage, I never eat cabbage mostly because the only way that English/Irish cooking prepares it is to chop and boil, probably the least interesting presentation. However, I would ask for seconds of Cabbage bhaji, the combination of the flavours with the slow cooking removes the bitterness of the Cabbage from the taste, in fact, if I hadn't been told it was cabbage, I would not have never known.

Masala Dal, we have discussed Dal many times since it is a staple of Indian cuisine, cooked and mashed yellow legumes usually split peas but can be yellow lentils. Masala as we have discussed means spice. Masala Dal is a side dish, usually red and can be extremely spicy but does not have to be.

 Do not under any circumstances try Khakhra, addictive doesn't come close to describing the experience. Flour, spices and carom seeds, rolled or pounded flatter than a nacho, then lightly fried in sunflower oil. This is one of the most interesting snack foods, that I have encountered. You can't eat just one (or two or four).

A Tilgud, mistakenly called Tilgul as a result of their use in a religious festival is a sweet nearly exactly the same as sesame snaps but with a bit of cinnamon and ginger and jaggery instead of honey. You give this sweet and say "Tilgul kha aani Ghod Ghod bola"; have this sweet and speak sweet words as sweet as this Tilgul. So the original name Tilgud; Til = sesame and Gud = Jaggery (sugar) became Tilgul.

Palak Paneer, like many Indian dishes, cannot be judged on looks alone. It looks like prison food (not even good prison food) but the taste is quite mellow and slightly nutty. Palak is spinach and Paneer is a dairy product that is very akin to Tofu.  The spinach is spiced, cooked and pureed and the paneer is chopped and lightly sauteed before being added. Although served as a main dish, this could be a side or even a soup because the consistency is on par with a squash soup.

Another Dal recipe, Masoor Dal, is made with the Masoor Lentil (a dark brown lentil with orange inside). The spices that flavour this Dal reminded me of the base for a Mexican chili before adding meat or tomato (if that is your preference). This can be served over rice as a main dish or as is with a meat dish. Some fun facts about the lentil for those of you trying to reduce meat consumption.  30% of their calories come from protein and are a very inexpensive source of two essential amino acids isoleucine and lysine. The starch from the lentil is 65% Resistant Starch (RS1) also known as Dietary Fiber, 30% is Slowly Digested Starch (SDS) of great value to Diabetics and only 5% is Readily Digested Starch (RDS). One more fun fact, Canada is the largest Exporter of Lentils.
 

Lassi is a sweetened yoghurt drink that is very popular here, it can be fruit flavoured such as pineapple or mango or have added spices such as cinnamon or ginger. Even though it is sweetened, it still has a slightly sour taste because the yoghurt base is more sour here than you would find in NA.

Is that flashlight loaded?